Living Knowing Your Father Is Voldemort
by midnight secrit
Summary: Two girls are born one terrible night, their father, Voldemort. These two meet, being raised in different places, go to Hogwarts and have to live with the effects of being the damned children of Tom Riddle. Will people except them? Will they have a hand in the defeat of Voldemort?
1. Foreword

**Foreword**

I'm running, I don't know what from. It is all dark, I'm running through darkness. There is a creepy laugh. I look to my side, Angela is running with me and looks really angry and threatening, but her eyes show that she is truly terrified but trying to look strong. I grab her hand and we run even faster. We're running so fast, i never thought i could run that fast. I don't know what we're running from or where we're going. Everything is still so dark. I hear the evil laugh again. Then a man appears in front of us. He has a weird face, no nose, or hair, and has a creepy smile. "I will get you, and you will serve me" he says smiling creepily. I grow angry and scared. I run and shove past him with Angela by my side only to hear him laugh manically behind us and say "no matter what you do, you can't escape. You two are my daughters and will obey me". I turn around and look angry "NEVER YOU FILTHY ASSHOLE" i shout. He laughs and in one second hes holding my through cutting off my ability to breath. "you will not talk to your master that way" he says in a deadly calm voice. I struggle and his grip only tightens. Angela is gone, its just me now.  
"You WILL obey Me! I AM OUR FATHER" the sick creature yelled in my face. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and tried to disappear. I had never fully been able to but i tried to. "LOOK AT ME BITCH" he yelled smacking my face. I stared him in the eye giving him a death glare. Shooting spears into his face. He simply laughed . "You're not so strong now, but i could make you stronger" he said in a too nice a voice, "i could give you all the knowledge you starve for. All the opportunity, all you ever wanted. Because i am your father and i care about you" he said the last part touching my face gently. I knew he was lying, he didnt love me, he just wanted the power i could have. I looked him in the eye and said whispering "you will" I shouted " NEVER BE ANYTHING LIKE A FATHER YOU FILTHY CREATURE! YOU SHOULD DIE, THE WORLD DOESNT NEED A DISCUSTING JACKASS LIKE YOU!" He growled and told his snake to kill me slowly. The snake came and bit me in multiple places, i was bleeding everywhere.  
watch?v=dx-_zUayE2w (listen to the song as you continue to read)  
I begin to close my eyes and re-open them, slower and slower, all i see is a blackness surrounding a small white light thats getting bigger and bigger slowly. This darkness is so cold and lonely, i dont want to be here anymore. The white light looks warm and comforting. With kindness and understanding from everyone. I begin to walk to that light. Im leaving this cold and lonely place that only holds suffering and hurt. I walk closer and closer in the light. I put on foot into the light. Its so warm. Its comforting, there is no pain. It seems like the word pain doesn't even exist here. The grass tickles my bear foot. The wind blows out into the darkness to where the rest of me is. Its so warm, the wind hugs me and tries to pull me in. I love it. I think its so peaceful This is where i belong. Maybe my mom is here, i think she loved me. And maybe i have siblings that are here that care for me also. Pain is not real here. All is kind, nice, and loving. A butterfly flys out and lands on my shoulder and looks at me as if saying "go in, its better there". A baby bunny and a doe come out and stand next to me, birds that fly so free are there. All of it whispers to me "go in. Its love in there, its peace, there is not hurt or pain that this cruel place had given you. just go in, it will all be over". I smile and close my eyes. Is this what it feels like to let all the pain go. Is this what it feels like to die? Am i dyeing? It doesnt matter, im going to let all the pain and hatetred go. Im going to peace. "NO!" someone crys out to me. I turn my head and a hand grabs my shoulder and pulls me back.


	2. Chapter 1 Witch?

Well, it all started out when i was born. I don't know who my father is or my mother, i was sent o an orphanage when i was born. They treated me like crap there, always making me do all the house work and taking care of the little kids. Not that i didnt mind doing that, im a very caring person, but i just was angry that they didnt even try to do it.  
The worst part was that it was a Catholic orphanage, nothing against Catholics but from the ones i met there, i personally hate them. "Sister" Lee was always pushing me around and smacking my wrist. She was the only one i ever saw besides when they were teaching us stuff. Every time she would smack my wrist, something weird would happen, like one time when she was yelling in my face, she smacked my hand with a ruler and the lamp on the table near us flew at her. She was in the hospital for a few weeks until she came out. I got asked questions but i said I didnt know what happened, cause i honestly didn't. Eventually they believed me cause i was only 6 and it was a pretty heavy lamp. They blamed it on one of the older kids in there at the time.  
As i grew up, i became smarter, wiser, and more caring and kind. I would sing the little kids to sleep and rub their back. If any kid in the orphanage ever needed someone to talk to about their problems and stuff, they would always come to me, even the older ones. At first it was weird but i began to get used to it and started to enjoy talking to them and giving them advice that worked, even though i wasnt in their shoes, i could always see myself in that situation and tell them what i would do. I always received positive results. I became ahead of my time, and respected for it. I was like the mom for the whole group, no matter how much younger i was from a kid in the orphanage, once i turned 9, they would start coming to me.  
Over my years at night, i would sneak around and collect things. I would never steal from another kid there but i would take things that someone left laying around. I would take pens, and notebooks that hadn't been written in, and pencils and pencil sharpeners and i took a flashlight once, and some packaged snacks, and money that would be left out on a table or something. I only took things that were left out on a table or under the couch and chairs or in them. Then on nights i didnt go out to take things, i would create little stories in the notebooks and draw and just plane thnk.  
The schooling was hard, they were strict and didnt let you have "fun" learning if that was even possible anymore. There was no "playground" or "recess" those words us kids in the orphanage only saw in dictionaries. If you got an 80 or under they would yell in your face in front of the whole class and tell you how bad you are and all that. Emotional abuse made me mentally stronger over the years. In 3rd grade we were told that we could learn to play an instrument. Our choices were harmonica, flute, violin, piano, and guitar. I picked flute, because it just called to me. When i got mine, I just held it, i felt so happy and proud. I began to play around with the keys right away, i didnt know any notes cause i hadn't gotten my learning book yet but that didnt stop me from learning some and not putting names to them. A few days later i got my book, and i didnt stop practicing. I got so good that they moved me up 2 then 3 levels in playing untill i was on my own cause i was so good. I practiced all the time and at night instead of singing, i would play my soft songs on my flute. Sometimes when i would skip class and play my flute when no one was around in my room( there was a girls bedroom and a boys) i would play certain songs and objects would move the way i wanted them to. One time the plant i have on my bedside table grew a few inches.  
Along the years, i would exercise a lot. i would go for jogs around the gymnasium when i was bored, or to push-up and or sit-ups. I grew strong muscles in my arms, and legs. But i wasn't flexible. When there was a fight against one of my close friends, i would beat up the person who was trashing them, if it wasnt one of my close friends, i would try to make peace between the two.  
At 10 years old, i ran away, i packed my bookbag with everything i had collected, i wore all my clothes (it was night and it was fall so it was a good idea and saved room in my book bag), stole food from the kitchen cupboards, put my flute book and my flute in my bag and left. I just left. It was a cold night that would have been in winter if it was snowing, but it wasn't. I thanked god for that. Even though it wasn't snowing, i was still very cold, and shivered.  
I walked down the street, hugging myself, trying to stay warm. I kept walking for a while, it felt like i had been walking for 100 days. My lips were freezing, and my nose was red and frozen, I didnt turn back though. I kept walking and looking, and walking. I came by place that had a clock up high where no one can reach it. I looked at the clock, i had left at 11pm, it was now 2am. I couldnt believe it, i had been walking for 4 hours. I looked at my feet and walked on. I kept walking untill i saw a man a few yards in front of me. I froze and stared at this man. He was dressed in a long black robe with a hood over his head. He started to walk towards me and reach into his pocket and pulled something out. It looked to be a long carved stick. He was 7 feet away from me when he stopped.  
"wh-who are you" I questioned, my voice quivering from the cold and my fear.  
The person removed the hood. Under it i saw a man with sad eyes, an old face and stringy black hair. "A friend" was all he said and came forward another few steps.  
"W-w-what d-do you w-want w-w-with me-me." i questioned, still shaking and thinking about how cold i was. He took off the black rode, and under it was another one. He put the robe around me. I just stood there, when it was fully on, i warmed up alot and stopped shaking so much. It was warm and comforting. He put the hood on me but not all the way, he made it so he could see my face. I smiled up at him and said with an appreciative voice "thank you".  
He just smiled and said "hold my arm" and put out his arm. I did so and then everything was weird. I was being stretched out but staying together. Everything was swirling and i couldn't focus on anything. My head started hurting and i thought i was going to puke. It all was happening so quickly. I dropped to my knees and held my head, squeezing my eyes shut. I was about to puke and pull my hair out when i heard the man say "its ok, we're on ground now". I slowly opened my eyes and took my hands away from my head. I stared around in amazement. I was just outside in the cold and now im in a warm room with a fire place, it looked like a living room and it was dimly lit. I slowly stood up and began to take the robe off, i was beginning to sweat with all the layers on now that i was in some place warm. "how-where-wh- EEHHHHHHH?!" was all i could get out of my mouth as i stared around in confusion. Then i tried again "where am i? How did that happen?". I stared up into his eyes searching for the answer myself. "Im a wizard, and you a witch" he said simply. My jaw dropped. "what kind of joke is this" i said a little frustrated having an anime sweat-drop -_-' . He chuckled a bit and said simply "this isnt a joke. It is real. There is a wizarding world with witches, wizards, and magical creatures. We have wands and such also. And your a witch. You will be getting a letter to go to a wizarding school. Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry, is the name of the school. I am the potions master there. You will call me Proffesor Snape. Also, in the school, you dont take things like Soicail studies, or Math, or things like that. You take Potions, Charms, History, Ancient Runes, Arithmancy, and more".  
I smiled, "for real, for real?" i questioned.  
" for real" he said a little humored. I laughed, this couldn't be true but i could all at the same time. I just laughed for a little while, devowering all that i was just told.  
"So, so, when weird stuff happened when i was super happy, sad, or angry, what was that about" i questioned.  
"Your magic isn't trained yet and you don't have full control over it. Your not supposed to use magic outside of school though until your of age. But since you haven't even gone to school yet and didn't really know everything you were doing, you won't get into trouble" he said.  
I just smiled. Then my smile turned into a frown.  
He looked at me concerned "what is the matter?"  
"well, ... i was just thinking. Where will i go now," I wondered looking up into his eyes that held kindness and love hidden by a hard shell.  
"there is a small shack that i can show you around the area that you lived before that you can use as a home or shelter. There is another girl living there now named Angela Riddle who had a similar history to yours. Put the robe back on and i'll take you there now" he replied.  
I did so and grabbed his arm again. SSSWWWOOOOSSHH! The same feeling from before came back again. Instead of being in the room or where he found me, we were standing outside n old rundown shed that looked abandoned. "This is where Angela lives. You will be living here also" he said. "but-" I turned to my side only to see that he was gone. _well, i have nothing to lose_ i told myself and walked in.  
I opened the door and slowly walked in and shut it. There was a bundle of blankets and clothes in one corner with a girl sitting on them. The walls were wood like the outside that looked pretty much the same as the outside. In another corner was what looked like a cabinet that was made out of wood and next to it had a small box with plastic silverware in it. All over were cool items and books. Lots and LOTS of books. I smiled.  
"who are you!?" demanded the girl who i guessed was Angela.  
"Im meghann," i replied calmly.  
"what the fuckdo you want"she asked in a very annoyed voice that said if you read between the lines 'i wil kill you with a straw if you even so much as look at me wrong bitch'.  
I sighed and walked over to her and sat down. She stared at me like i was some kind of freak that just vomited and ate it again.  
"I was told to come here by Professor Snape," i said to her in a 'what the hell is wrong with you!?' type of voice.  
"OH" she replied with a surprised voice and face, "so-so your a witch too"?  
"uummm, i guess. I mean, i guess i have been for a while but i was just told moment ago" i explained a little confused still about it.  
"so, so your Angela, right" i questioned.  
"Thats my name. The mega bitch known for being awesome, random, fighting and winning, trusting no one, fending for myself, and not giving a fuck what people think of me at your serves" she said getting up and. I knew right away we were going to be best friends.  
I laughed and replied "go make me a sandwich slave".  
"what kind your majesty" she replied questionably.  
"I dont know, surprise me" i said knowing what was coming. She straightened up, and said "How about a knuckle sandwich"!? And then she was about to punch me, did the whole motion and speed and everything like she was really going to, but stopped and only touched my nose and backed her fist up again and laughed. I began to laugh also.  
"You hungry" she questioned. At the thought of food my stomach gave a loud growl.  
She laughed and said "I'll be back," with a smile on her face. She walked out the door and left me sitting there. '_well, that is quite a person. a very interesting first meeting also'_ i thought. She left me sitting there for about ten minutes and then came back.  
"where'd you go" i questioned. She opened her jacket and a bunch of ramen noodle packets came out. I burst out laughing. "and how are you going to heat that and get the water" i questioned thinking it through, knowing she hadn't.  
"eh heh hehh" she replied with her anime sweat drop (-_-' )laughing nervously.  
I chuckled " you stay here and store your stupid food that you need actual ELETRIC HEATING DEVICES to make and i will go get us some actual food that DOESNT NEED ELETRICAL HEATING DEVICES to eat" i said making sure she got the ' you're a stupid git' part when saying the electrical heating devices. She growled and i laughed, leaving the shed.  
I walked around until i found a rode. Things where sure a lot different where i was now then where the orphanage was, when i thought i was running away, i didnt have in mind some place i never was. I walked around until i found a rode and walked down the rode until i found a dollar store. I went in. "dam this stupid elevator music" I mumbled annoyed by the terrible choice of music that was playing. I walked around very very slowly eyeing everything, studying each thing in the store that was there. I casually grabbed chips, soda, turkey, ham, motserralla cheese and stuffed them into the many pockets i made inside my jacket for when i would take stuff. Then i walked near the front checkout desk that had lighters and cigarettes behind it. The check-out man eyed me suspiciously but was soon occupied with a customer that came in hopelessly confused and needed to be shown where everything was around the store. I quietly crouched down and snuck behind the counter and grabbed a handful of lighters and like 10 packs of cigarettes and left the store. I walked down the street like i had just come from a slumber party,all confident and laughing at nothing, and uptight and all that. I went back to the shed and knocked on the door.  
"who is it~" i heard Angela question in a sing-song voice from inside.  
I pounded on the door and said in the most pathetic toughest male voice i could manage "this is the police. Open this fucken door right now"!  
She opened the door "get inside you idiot" she said. I came inside and sat down on the pump of blankets.  
"so" she said laying down on the lump, "whach ya get us"? I started to pull the stuff out of my pockets, everything but the lighters and cigarettes. She yawned and reached for a bag of chips when i was done.  
"thats it? We're going to die eating off this shit" she said picking up the turkey (lunch meat) and putting it down again.  
"no" i said "we're going to die by these". I pulled out the many lighters and packs of cigarettes. She smiled and grabbed a pack and a lighter before i had them all out.  
"I haven't had one i a while. How'd you get past the store clerk" she questioned totally confused.  
"an old lady came in who needed to be shown where everything was around the store so i took my chances and left" i replied.  
"you do know they have cameras, right?" she questioned.  
I laughed " not if there not working" and i showed her the wire i had cut outside the store before i went in.  
She burst out laughing "just think of all the trouble you and i are going to do when we go to Hogwarts together" she said still laughing.  
"we" i questioned.  
"hells yeah" she said smiling "we're buddies now. PARTNERS IN CRIME" she said smiling.**  
**I sighed and laughed. "I guess".  
She then took out a cigarette, light it, and smoked one.  
I did the same. "where you gunna put all this stuff" i asked her.  
She pointed to the cabinet that was in the corner "in there. you can do that".  
I took all the food over and stuffed the almost empty thing except for the ramen noodles with the food and cigarettes and lighters.  
"Im beat" she said laying down and yawning "lets get some sleep, ok?"  
"ok" i said throwing the cigarette but out the door, she did the same.  
"Here" she said handing me half of the blankets she was sitting on "put some on the floor and cover up with some and sleep somewhere in here".  
I picked the corner across from her and laid a few blankets down, covered up, and fell asleep immediately.

_**Hey guys. Thank you for reading. Please comment. PLEASE COMMENT, even if its negitive, give me some god criticism. Favorite as well. ;)**_


	3. Chapter 2

It had been a few weeks of Angela and i living together in her shed. We grew really close, so close that when people saw us we told them we were twins and they believed us. Even though we dont look a whole ton alike except for the face, height, weight, and athletic ability , well, i guess we do look alot alike. We became so close. Did so much fun and stupid stuff together, and everything. We stole and took what we needed when needed. The 5 weeks i had spent with her were definitely without a doubt the best weeks of my life. August 4th was my birthday, only 6 days away. I hadn't asked Angela when her birthday was so this morning i did.  
"Hey anggy, when's your birthday" i questioned her as i was sitting and watching the sunset smoking a cigarette.  
"August 4th, why" she replied.  
I laughed "mines also August 4th" ^_^ .  
" what time were you born" she asked laughing.  
"In the morning around 3:30ish, you"?  
Her jaw dropped "dude, i was also" she said amazed. I laughed and so did she.

(August 4th)  
I'm running, I don't know what from. It is all dark, I'm running through darkness. There is a creepy laugh. I look to my side, Angela is running with me and looks really angry and threatening, but her eyes show that she is truly terrified but trying to look strong. I grab her hand and we run even faster. We're running so fast, i never thought i could run that fast. I don't know what we're running from or where we're going. Everything is still so dark. I hear the evil laugh again. Then a man appears in front of us. He has a weird face, no nose, or hair, and has a creepy smile. "I will get you, and you will serve me" he says smiling creepily. I grow angry and scared. I run and shove past him with Angela by my side only to hear him laugh manically behind us and say "no matter what you do, you can't escape. You two are my daughters and will obey me". I turn around and look angry "NEVER YOU FILTHY ASSHOLE" i shout. He laughs and in one second hes holding my through cutting off my ability to breath. "you will not talk to your master that way" he says in a deadly calm voice. I struggle and his grip only tightens. Angela is gone, its just me now.  
"You WILL obey Me! I AM OUR FATHER" the sick creature yelled in my face. I squeezed my eyes shut tight and tried to disappear. I had never fully been able to but i tried to. "LOOK AT ME BITCH" he yelled smacking my face. I stared him in the eye giving him a death glare. Shooting spears into his face. He simply laughed . "You're not so strong now, but i could make you stronger" he said in a too nice a voice, "i could give you all the knowledge you starve for. All the opportunity, all you ever wanted. Because i am your father and i care about you" he said the last part touching my face gently. I knew he was lying, he didnt love me, he just wanted the power i could have. I looked him in the eye and said whispering "you will" I shouted " NEVER BE ANYTHING LIKE A FATHER YOU FILTHY CREATURE! YOU SHOULD DIE, THE WORLD DOESNT NEED A DISCUSTING JACKASS LIKE YOU!" He growled and told his snake to kill me slowly. The snake came and bit me in multiple places, i was bleeding everywhere.  
watch?v=dx-_zUayE2w (listen to the song as you continue to read)  
I begin to close my eyes and re-open them, slower and slower, all i see is a blackness surrounding a small white light thats getting bigger and bigger slowly. This darkness is so cold and lonely, i dont want to be here anymore. The white light looks warm and comforting. With kindness and understanding from everyone. I begin to walk to that light. Im leaving this cold and lonely place that only holds suffering and hurt. I walk closer and closer in the light. I put on foot into the light. Its so warm. Its comforting, there is no pain. It seems like the word pain doesn't even exist here. The grass tickles my bear foot. The wind blows out into the darkness to where the rest of me is. Its so warm, the wind hugs me and tries to pull me in. I love it. I think its so peaceful This is where i belong. Maybe my mom is here, i think she loved me. And maybe i have siblings that are here that care for me also. Pain is not real here. All is kind, nice, and loving. A butterfly flys out and lands on my shoulder and looks at me as if saying "go in, its better there". A baby bunny and a doe come out and stand next to me, birds that fly so free are there. All of it whispers to me "go in. Its love in there, its peace, there is not hurt or pain that this cruel place had given you. just go in, it will all be over". I smile and close my eyes. Is this what it feels like to let all the pain go. Is this what it feels like to die? Am i dyeing? It doesnt matter, im going to let all the pain and hatetred go. Im going to peace. "NO!" someone crys out to me. I turn my head and a hand grabs my shoulder and pulls me back.

"GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT GUESS WHAT!?" I hear Angela saying as she grabs my shoulder and shakes me back and forth, while each time she pushes me forward again my face hits the ground.  
"what" I grumble so quietly she doesnt hear me. She continues to shake me and yell guess what. "WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU WANT ANGELA!?" I yell sitting up and looking at her with crusty eyes and a pouting face.  
She knows not to think im really angry at her, so she just continues to smile and says "do you know what day it is!?"  
"The day that you stop making me want to kill you" I say with too much of an innocent voice. She sighs "no Meghann. That day is scheduled for next Saturday." her face brightens up again and she says in a sing song voice "TODAY IS OUR BORTHDAY~! ^_^ ". My face -_-.  
"so" i question. She pouts and pulls out a cigarette and lights it and puts it in front of my face. My eyes widen and i take the cigarette, its refreshing and helps me wake up. I begin to smile, "did chu gets mez anything" I question in a happy voice battering my eyelashes like an idiot. She laughs and hands me a bag. I look inside it and inside is a book that says "MANNERS for DUMMIES" book. At seeing this i look glare at her. She laughs and says to keep looking. I take the book out and see inside that there i a sketch-pad, 20 sharpened pencils to the perfect point how i like them, a hand-sharpener that works great, a notebook for me to write in, and two anime books. I just look at them as my face turns into a warm smile. Im about to cry, no one has ever given me anything but a "happy birthday" on my birthday, no one even made me a card ever. I look a her with my warm smile about to cry.  
She just smiles and says "I know how to like to draw and write, and how you like anime so...i figured-" I cut her off by giving her a hug "its great. Thank you". She smiles and hugs me back. "WAIT TILL YOU SEE WHAT I GOT YOU" I say smiling enthusiastically like an idiot. She laughs as i go under my piles of blankets and clothes and pull out a bag as well with stuff in it. In it is a portable DVD player with three seasons of "Ghost Hunters" and a few other horror films i knew she would like. She laughs and says thank you.  
We hear a strange squawk noise and open the door. Two large barn-owls fly in and perch themselves on the cabinet we store food in (that still has the uncookable ramen noodles in it when Angela didnt think that we needed ELETRICAL HEATING DEVICES to make them). Around each of there leg is a letter tied on. Angela and i look at each other surprised.  
"Wait, maybe...these are our letters to join Hogwarts" Angela says excitedly but nervously at the same time. Ive been one to be good with animals, so i go over to them and untie the letter of each owl's leg. They sit there (well, i guess i should say stand) calmly and let me do so. On the letter it said 'To Meghann Riddle' I stared at it. _so is that my last name? I never knew._ yes, i know its stupid, not knowing your last name, but when i was left in the orphanage when i was a baby, all the note said was that my name was meghann. The other one said 'To Angela Riddle'. We had the same last names, It was probably coincidence, many last names are common. I asked her about it and she said the same. I opened the letter and it read

HOGWARTS SCHOOL  
of WITCHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore  
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock,  
Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Ms. Riddle,

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment.  
Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than August 20th.

Yours sincerely,  
Minerva McGonagall  
Deputy Headmistress

HOGWARTS SCHOOL  
of WHICHCRAFT and WIZARDRY

UNIFORM  
First-year students will require:  
sets of plain work robes (black)  
plain pointed hat (black) for day wear  
pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)  
winter cloak (black, with silver fastenings)  
Please note that all pupil's clothes should carry name tags.  
COURSE BOOKS  
All students should have a copy of each of the following:  
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1)  
by Miranda Goshawk  
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot  
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling  
A Beginner's Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch  
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi  
by Phyllida Spore  
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger  
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them  
by Newt Scamander  
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection  
by Quentin Trimble

OTHER EQUIPMENT  
1 wand  
1 cauldron (pewter, standard size 2)  
1 set glass or crystal phials  
1 telescope  
1 set brass scales  
Students may also bring and owl OR a cat OR a toad.

PARENTS ARE REMINDED THAT FIRST YEARS ARE NOT ALLOWED THEIR OWN BROOMSTICKS

Then there was a third page that said

DUE TO RECENT STUDENTS WHO HAVE BEEN VERY DISRESPECTFUL AND WRONG,AND STUDENTS THAT HAVE YET TO COME AND COPY THIS BEHAVOUR,WE HAVE MADE A LIST OF THINGS YOU MUST SAY. PLEASE RAISE YOU RIGHT HAND _(I raised my right hand)_ AND REPEAT THE FOLOWING RULES. (  
_I looked at the page, it began to unfold and there was like 3 pages of stuff. I laughed and put my hand down and sat on my lump of blankets and started to read the "newly rules due to privies students" it said this:)  
__**(hey guys, hate to interrupt but i have to do this. The rules are in the next chapter, a chapter dedicated to these rules. I do not own the rules, nor did i create them. If you do wish to read them, and i suggest reading a few, they are in the next chapter. Thank you) **_


	4. Rules

**I do not own these rules. I found them and thought they would be HILARIOUS to put in a story. so i did so. This chapter is only rules, nothing else. Read a few, read them all, read none, I dont care. I do suggest reading a few tho, They are rather funny. **

Rules  
1. I will not poke Hufflepuffs with spoons, nor will I insist that their House colors indicate that they are "covered in bees".

2. No matter how good a fake Australian accent I can do, I will not imitate Steve Irwin during Care of Magical Creatures class._(yes i will x3)_

3. "I've heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood's name" is not a challenge.

4. Putting up Doug Henning posters in Filch's office is not appropriate. _(i think it is)_

5. I will not go to class skyclad.

6. The Giant Squid is not an appropriate date to the Yule Ball. _(theres a giant squid there? O_o)_

7. I will not use Umbridge's quill to write, "I told you I was hardcore". _(if i get the chace, hells yeah i will. wait. whats Umbridges quill?)_

8. I will stop referring to showering as "giving Moaning Myrtle an eyeful".

9. I will not insist the house elves serve fried snake to the Slytherins. _(ang'll get a kick outa this)_

10. If a classmate falls asleep, I will not take advantage of that fact and draw a Dark Mark on their arm. _(whats a dark mark?)_

11. House elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.

12. Starting a betting pool on the fate of this year's Defense Against Dark Arts teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever moneymaking concept.

13. Seamus Finnegan is not "after me Lucky Charms".

14. I will not refer to the Weasley twins as "bookends".

15. I will not tye-dye all of the owls.

16. I will not reenact Harry Potter Puppet Pals in the Great Hall

17. Or anywhere else for that matter.

18. I will not shave Mrs. Norris.

19. I will not refer to the Patil twins as "bookends".

20. I will not write all my essays in red ink claiming it is blood.

21. I will not ask Lupin if it his time of the month.

22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast to Coast AM transcripts.

23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.

24. I am not allowed to tell Hufflepuffs there is no Santa Clause.

25. I am not allowed to refer to myself as the New Dark Lord.

26. I am not a sloth Animagus.

27. I am not allowed to steal Professor Flitwicks wand, hold it over my head and laugh as he tries to reach it.

28. I am not allowed to have a reticulated python, snow leopard, Tasmanian devil, or pirahna.

29. I do not weight the same as a duck.

30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.

31. I am not allowed to wear death eater robes to dinner and shout Long live Lord Voldemort because I think its funny.

32. I will not kiss Trevor.

33. I will stop asking the Arithmancy teacher what the square root of -1 is.

34. Skiving Snackboxes are not a suitable gift for first-years.

35. Any resemblance between Dementors and Nazgul is coincidental.

36. I am not allowed to sneak into Professor Snapes private chambers to watch him sing I Will Survive in the mirror, as it is disturbing. _(i imagined this for a moment and shivered thinking how disturbing it would be)_

37. I will not mock Dumbledore with exaggerated limb movements.

38. I am not allowed to draw a smiley face on my arm and tell everyone its the new Dark Mark.

39. Asking "How do you keep a Gryffindor in suspense?" and walking away is only funny the first time.

40. I will not offer to pose nude for Colin Creevey.

41. I will not insist that the trees in the Forbidden Forest are Ent wives.

42. It is a bad idea to tell Professor Snape he takes himself too seriously.

43. It is a bad idea to tell Professor McGonagall she takes herself too seriously.

44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

45. I will not offer to prepare tandoori owl.

46. I will stop asking when we will learn to make "Love Potion Number Nine".

47. I will not ask Dumbledore to show me the pointy hat trick.

48. I will not ask Ginny how to properly strangle a chicken.

49. If Ginny Weasley wanted to borrow my Darkover books, she would have said so already.

50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.

51. Sirius Black did not found the Sirius Cybernetics Corporation.

52. I will not draw an H on Percy Weasley's forehead.

53. Filch does not have a sister named Magenta.

54. I will refrain from wearing black leather gloves at all times and saying "Hogwarts is mother, Hogwarts is father".

55. Black Phoenix Alchemy Lab does not sell potions ingredients, and I will not resell their products as "Veela Pheremones".

56. I will not refer to the Slytherin dorms as "the Tremere chantry".

57. The Malfoys are not Draka.

58. Hogwarts does not have a student council. Even if it did, they would not wear the rose seal. Therefore I will cease going after the prefects with a sword.

59. Richard Upton Pickman did not paint The Fat Lady.

60. I will not refer to Umbridge as Queen of the Toads, even if she really is.

61. I will not sweep the Gryffindor common room with Harry Potter's prized Firebolt.

62. The Giant Squid has never made an appearance in any hentai film.

63. It is wrong to refer to Aragog as "Charlotte".

64. Professor Flitwick's first name in not Yoda.

65. I will not refer to the hippogryph as "Horseybird".

66. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.

67. -Or any other Slytherin.

68. I will not "borrow" a prefects' badge for Peeves.

69. I am not the Defense Against the Boring Classes Professor.

70. -Nor am I the Care of Witches Underwear Professor.

71. -I am not a Professor, at all.

72. I will not replace Madam Pomfrey's Skele-Gro with pumpkin juice.

73. -I will not replace Professor Snape's pumpkin juice with Skele-Gro.

74. -It was not an honest mistake.

75. I will not swap Draco's broom with one out of Filch's broom cupboard.

76. I am no longer allowed in the student laundry.

77. -Or the teacher laundry.

78. Nor am I allowed to ever cast an Invisibility charm again.

79. While wand safety is an important issue, I am no longer allowed to distribute any pamphlet, which makes reference to Belinda the Buttless.

80. It is generally accepted that Cats and Dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory, no matter how wicked the result would be.

81. I will not give any girl a one half of a set of two-way mirrors as a Christmas present. 82. -Especially if I don't tell her what it is.

83. Gryffindor courage does not come in bottles labeled firewhiskey.

84. -Charming the label does not change anything.

85. I am not allowed to eat Chocolate Frogs in Potions class.

86. -Even if I brought enough for everyone.

87. -Emptying a bag full of them onto Professor Snape's desk to prove this last is unacceptable behavior.

88. Peeves may not countermand any of my professors' or prefects' orders.

89. No matter what Professor Umbridge may tell me to the contrary, I am not authorized to form press gangs.

90. Chemistry and Potions don't mix.

91. -Testing this last is not funny.

92. Crucifixes do not ward off Slytherins, and I should not test that.

93. May not mock Professor Umbridge in front of the press.

94. I may not speak Latin in front of the books.

95. The proper way to report to Professor McGonagall is "You wanted to see me, Professor?" Not "I have it on good authority that you have no evidence."

96. May not insinuate that all beautiful American exchange students to Gryffindor or Slytherin House in Harry Potter's Year are Lockhart's misbegotten heirs, even if it's true. 97. I am not possesed by the ghost of Lady MacBeth.

98. -Neither is The Fat Lady.

99. When someone accuses me of not wearing any drawers, I should ignore them. Attempting to prove them wrong is indecent.

100. -Especially if I can't.

101. If someone's House Badge is green and mine is purple, it means they are in Slytherin House. It does not mean "The Sorting Hat thinks they're dumber than me."

102. Using the Engorgio charm on certain parts of the human anatomy is not permitted on the school grounds, not even for entertainment purposes.

103. Professor Snape does not enjoy being called "Snookums".

104. -Neither does he respond favorably to "Sev", "Snapey-Poo" or "Debbie".

105. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.

106. Hagrid does not have relationships with magical creatures, and I should stop implying that he does.

107. I am not authorised to sell incriminating pictures of the faculty to students.

108. -Giving the same pictures out free of charge is also frowned upon.

109. Dumbledore is not Santa, he does not wish for me to sit on his knee and demand presents, especially not in June.

110. House Elf stew is not on the Hogwarts menu, neither is Niffler Curry, so I should stop asking.

112. It is inappropriate to slip sample bottles of Selsun Blue into Professor Snape's personal postbox.

113. I will stop referring to Hufflepuffs as "cannon fodder."

114. I will not impersonate the Swedish Chef in Potions class.

115. I will not greet Professor McGonagall with "What's new, pussycat?"

116. My headmaster's name is Albus Dumbledore, not "Gandalf."

117. Neville is not my valet.

118. When given a directive by my house prefect, I should not insist that "we don't need no stinking badges."

119. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.

120. I will not threaten the Fat Lady with Dip.

121. House ghosts do not regularly "slime" anyone.

122. Novelty or holiday-themed ties are not to be worn with my school uniform.

123. There is no "open-mike night" at Hogwarts.

124. I will not use my socks to make hand puppets of the Slytherin house mascot.

125. There is no bring a muggle to school day.

126. And I should stop insisting there is.

127. I should not ask Professor McGonagall if, while in cat form, she has ever coughed up a hairball.

128. I must not spread rumors that Lucius Malfoy is, was, or ever will be known in Death Eater circles as "Dobby's Homeboys."

129. The fact that Draco Malfoy is short, blond, pale-eyed and rat-faced is no reason for me to tell the Slytherins that Peter Pettigrew should be paying Narcissa child support. 130. I will not say that Harry Potter's godfather has "taken the veil."

131. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I will not lift my wand skyward and shout, "There can be only ONE!"

132. I will not refer to any Death Eaters as "Trixie.

133. -Even if it is a legitimate nickname.

134. I will not tell the Muggleborn first-years that the Forbidden Forest's real name is Mirkwood.

135. I must not start a "Vetinari for Minister of Magic" campaign.

136. I am not to conjure the words "DRINK ME" onto the vial of any potion in Snape's classroom.

137. I should not tell anyone that Dean Thomas's nickname is John.

138. I will not go to any fundamentalist websites and argue that Voldemort is a direct contradiction of the concept of "intelligent design.

139. The next time that I see Rita Skeeter, I am not to threaten her with a can of Raid. 140. Should I chance to see a Death Eater wearing a white mask, I should not start singing anything from "Phantom of the Opera.

141. I should not refer to DADA professors as "canaries in the coal mine.

142. I will not say the phrase "Dude, get a life." to Lord Voldemort.

143. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.

144. I will not send pictures of magical creatures to the Weekly World News.

145. I will not cover myself in ectoplasm and walk out of a fireplace, saying I took the "Flu Network".

146. I will not refer to "The Grim" as a nice doggy.

147. I will not refer to Professor Lupin as a nice doggy.

148. I will not ask Professor Sprout where the Jolly Green Giant is.

149. I will not subvert the lock on the fourth-floor girls' bathroom and sell its location to first-years as "The Chamber of Secrets".

150. I am not permitted to utter the line: "Hey, Rocky, watch me pull a _ out of my hat!" during Charms class.

151. There is not now, nor has there ever been, a fifth House at Hogwarts, and I am not a member of that house, nor am I its founder.

152. When applying for a post at the Ministry of Magic after graduation, I should not cite "Fred and George Weasley" as my greatest influence at Hogwarts.

153. Putting down "Lord Voldemort" is probably not best either.

154. I am not allowed to ink my owl's feet, have it walk across a parchment, and sell the result as cheat sheets for Ancient Runes, even though Crabbe and Goyle keep falling for it.

155. I will not refer to the Accio charm as "The Force".

156. I will no longer wear a hood, walk up to Harry, and claim to be his real mother.

157. I will not enchant the telescopes on the Astronomy Tower to display non-existent constellations during O.W.L. exams.

158. Albus Dumbledore's proper title is "Headmaster", not "My Liege".

159. A Muggle "vacuum cleaner" is not acceptable Quidditch equipment, even if it has been enchanted to fly.

160. Hogsmeade village is not "a wretched hive of scum and villainy.

161. Sending rings to the nine senior faculty at Yuletide, with the return address "Voldemort", is not funny.

162. Professor McGonagall does not have an inappropriate relationship with Mrs. Norris. 163. I will not create a pin-up calendar of the Slytherin girls and call it "Voldie's Angels". 164. Professor Flitwick has heard all the "swish and flick" jokes before, and is very, very tired of them.

165. I will not send Professor Snape toothpaste and Shampoo for Christmas.

166. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I prophesied her death.

167. I will also not tell Professor Trelawney that I had a vision of her killing the Dark Lord.

168. I will not refer to Professor McGonagall as Catwoman, no matter how funny she would look in tight leather.

169. -Nor will I ask her if she is Catwoman in disguise.

170. I am not to ask if Lord Voldemort is secretly Hitler or Osama bin Laden.

171. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations.

172. I will not die the Death Eaters robes pink.

173. Humming/singing/referring in any way to Duran Duran's "Hungry Like the Wolf" around Professor Lupin is inappropriate. It's best not to bring up "Thriller", either.

174. Insisting that the school acquire computers and network the buildings is a pointless request as they claim that a quill and parchment is sufficient.

175. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.

176. Taking red paint and writing creepy messages on the walls is not funny, either.

177. If asked in class what the Avada Kedavra curse does, yelling "It does DEATH!" may be correct but is not the manner in which one should answer.

178. Not allowed out of my dorm when visitors from the Ministry are here.

179. I am not allowed to eat lollipops within Professor Snape's sight ever again.

180. I will never again use the spell used to enchant bludgers on peas.

181. -Or tomatoes, plums, oranges, or any other food item. Or any other item that is not a Bludger.

182. I may not have a private army.

183. -Not even if it technically belongs to someone else.

184. I should not encourage the house-elves to unionize.

185. I must stop referring to the professors by the embarrassing nicknames they acquired in their school days.

186. I must not substitute chocolate-flavored laxative for Professor Lupin's prescription-strength chocolate.

187. Nor am I to in any way substitute, alter, hide, or otherwise tamper with Professor Dumbledore's candy.

188. "Y'all check this-here shit out!" is not an appropriate way to announce that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

189. Portable Swamps are not funny.

190. Revel fires are to be danced around. It is not appropriate to dispose of old love letters or other sensitive documents in them.

191. Bubotubers are not filled with tasty honey, and it is wrong to tell First Years that they are.

192. Ravenclaws do not find a sign saying, "The library is closed for an indefinite time period" amusing in any sense.

193. Mad-Eye Moody knows his eye is creepy, he does not need to be told... again.

194. Stealing first-years' clothing and then tossing it into and around the whomping willow is highly frowned at.

195. Mrs. Norris does not like playing with blast-ended skrewts.

196. Sneaking slugs into Ron's food is not funny. He does not like being reminded of his incident.

197. Trying to out-argue a Slytherin will lead to no good.

198. Despite popular belief, Hufflepuffs are not soft and squishy. Do not treat them as such.

199. I am not the wicked witch of the west.

200. -I will not refer to Professor Umbridge as such either.

201. I will not melt if water is poured over me.

202. -Neither will Professor Umbridge. 203. I do not have a Cyberman Patronus.

204. I am not a Wirn animagus, either.

205. I will not ask Aragog if he came from Metabelis III.

206. -Or if he has any pretty blue crystals.

207. "Nessie is actually a cyborg created by the Zygons" is not an appropriate thing to say in Care of Magical Creatures Class.

208. While it is appropriate to refer to Voldemort as "Master" while in his service, Voldemort and The Master are not one and the same.

209. I cannot substitute Prydonian robes for my Hogwarts uniform.

210. -Nor can my winter scarf be longer than standard issue.

211. I cannot attempt to recreate the Key to Time in Transfiguration class.

212. -Or transform a pepperpot into a Dalek.

213. Lucius Malfoy is not my "sugar daddy" and I will not claim he is.

214. -That goes double when Draco Malfoy is within earshot.

215. A time turner is not a flux capacitator, and I should therefore not install one in any Muggle cars.

216. "To conquer the earth with an army of flying monkeys" is not an appropriate career choice.

217. I will not levitate everywhere in a big pink bubble.

218. My professors have neither the time, nor the inclination to hear about what I did with six boxes of Sugar Quills.

219. No part of the school uniform is edible.

220. -Not allowed to make any part of the school uniform edible.

221. Not allowed to take house points from firsties for "being too goddamned short".

222. Never, ever, attempt to correct Professor Moody about anything.

223. I must not refer to Headmaster Dumbledore as "Mum".

224. -Nor Professor Snape.

225. Not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.

226. -Not allowed to use silencing charms my Prefects.

227. -Not allowed to use silencing charms, period.

228. Not allowed to prophesy the end of the world more than once.

229. Will not offer to sell Hagrid new creatures.

230. -Especially not if I actually have them.

231. Madame Hooch's name is just that, a name. Will not ask her to share.

232. -Also will not ask her to fly under the influence.

234. Astronomy class will not cause me to be abducted by aliens.

235. Will not charm Hermione's time turner to rotate every half-hour.

236. If the thought of a spell makes me giggle for longer than 15 seconds, I am to assume that I am not allowed to do it.

237. I am not allowed to charm the words Ferret Boy onto Dracos forehead.

238. I will not sell tickets to get into the Chamber of Secrets.

239. Especially if it is only a one-way ticket.

240. Singing 99 Bottles of Potion on the wall nonstop repeatedly will result in a detention.

241. Playgirl and Playboy are not on the reading list for muggle studies.

242. Woad and other camoflage/body paints are not needed for DADA.

243. I may not challenge prefects to Meet me on the Quidditch field, at dawn.

244. I shouldn't throw Fanged-Frisbees in the Great Hall.

245. I shouldn't use Photoshop to create incriminating photos of my house prefects or tutors.

246. I should not confess to crimes that took place before I was born, even if I have access to a time turner.

247. I should not show up at the front gate wearing part of another houses uniform, messily drunk.

248. -Even if my prefect did it.

249. I will not only wear "Wizard hat, open robe & tie" and call it an authorized uniform. 250. Teaching exchange students to taunt other Hufflepuffs is not nice.

251. When detained by dementors, I do not have a right to a strip search.

252. Do not dare first years to eat bugs. They will always do it.

253. I will not refer to McGonagall as "the cat-girl. 2

54. - Nor will I attempt to stop her transformation part way through.

255. - The same goes for Hermione.

256. I will not hand red shirts to the new DADA professor and claim that they're the standard uniform for the position.

257. I will not use invisibility charms on anyones clothing.

258. I will not enchant the Golden Snitch to fly up the nearest fan's nose.

259. I do not know the Avada Kedavra curse, and pretending I do to people who annoy me is not funny, no matter how much they injure themselves diving for cover.

260. I will not test my Potions assigments by spiking Snape's drink with them.

261. - Especially not all of them at once.

262. I will not try to hock off my old piercings as "priceless Muggle artifacts."

263. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are "Auror Training Videos.

264. It doesn't matter if he is going on vacation; I will not comment about how the Minister of Magic is "packing.

265. The Giant Squid is not to be referred to as 'my lord Cthulhu', nor am I allowed to sacrifice first years to it on the new moon. 2

66. I will not attempt to set up a mobile phone mast on the Astronomy Tower.

267. - Likewise the satellite dish.

268. The Slytherin Gift to Virgins is fictional, and I should not be asking Draco Malfoy or any of the other Slytherin boys if they've mastered it yet.

269. The Muggle known as George W. Bush is not related to or working for Lord Voldemort in any way, and I am to stop insinuating that he is.

270. I will stop sending Professor Snape forged love notes that appear to be from Professor Lupin.

271. I will stop asking Professor Lupin exactly what goes on between him and Professor Snape when he brings him the Wolfsbane potion every month.

272. Luna Lovegood does not have pointed ears, nor is she to be addressed as 'Galadriel'. 273. Lucius Malfoy also does not have pointed ears, nor is he to be addressed as 'Haldir'. 274. Professor Snape definitely does not have pointed ears, and under no circumstances is he to be addressed as 'Spock'.

275. I will stop substituting Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with Polyjuice Potion containing hairs from Mrs. Norris.

276. I am not to stare at the Great Hall ceiling during dinner in the winter and cry 'My god, it's full of stars!'

278. - I am definitely not to sing it accompanied by the house elves acting as a backing group.

279. -Especially not with kazoos.

280. The research and manufacture of mind-altering substances will not gain me extra credit in Potions.

281. I am not able to see the Grim Reaper, nor am I to claim that he is standing by the Headmaster, tapping an hourglass and looking at him impatiently. Or, for that matter, Harry Potter.

282. When being interrogated by a member of staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce 'These are not the droids you are looking for'.

283. Thestrals do not resemble the Muggle toys known as 'My Little Pony'.

284. I am not to hold my wand in the air before casting spells and shout 'I... GOT... THE... POWER!'

285. I am not a Vampire Slayer and Professor Lupin is not my Watcher.

286. -I am not to attempt to stake Professor Snape.

287. When Death Eaters are attacking Hogsmeade, I shall not point at the Dark Mark and shout 'To the Batmobile, Robin!'

288. - Or 'Thunder, Thunder, Thunder, THUNDERCATS, HO!'

289. Professor Flitwick is not to be referred to as the 'Dungeon Master'.

290. I will not try to convert my housemates to Christianity.

291. -Or Wicca.

292. -This does not mean that my religious rights are being violated.

293. I am not allowed to hit Bludgers at spectators.

294. -Or the referee.

295. I will not commit crimes and then say I was under the Imperius curse.

296. I will not insult people and then say I was given Veritaserum.

297. -I will not give people Veritaserum.

298. The four Houses are not the Morons, the Borons, the Smartasses and the Junior Death Eaters.

299. Albus Dumbledore is not my personal Jesus.

300. -Neither is Professor Snape.

301. I am not authorized to negotiate a peace treaty with Voldemort.

302. The house elves are not there to do my homework.

303. Neither are the ghosts.

304. I am not a magical creature.

305. I am not the reincarnation of Merlin.

306. I am not Voldemort's illegitimate love child.

307. Professor Snape did not kill my father and does not deserve to die.

308. Seamus Finnegan does not have a pot of gold under his bed.

309. -Or under his robe.

310. I will not follow potion instructions in reverse order 'to see what happens'.

311. Grindewald is not my role model.

312. -Neither is Voldemort.

313. I will not cast 'Petrificus Totalus' on myself in order to avoid going to classes.

314. I am not allowed to Accio the clothing of any person while they are wearing it.

315. -Including my own.

316. I am not allowed to organize a witch burning, even if I have been assigned to do a presentation on Muggle history in my Muggle Studies class.

317. I will not accept anything edible from a Weasley.

318. "All's fair in love and war" is not an official rule of Hogwarts.

319. I will not attempt to confuse Crabbe and Goyle by calling them by each other's names.

320. I will not attempt to make Professor's Trelawney's predictions come true.

321. Professor Snape's problem is not that "he needs to get laid".

322. Draco Malfoy is not a ferret animagus.

323. Despite my personal beliefs, Quidditch would not improved by the introduction of muggle firearms.

324. -Though they are doubtless more athletic, battle-axes are not acceptable either.

325. Even if I myself to do not believe in it, I will respect that the school observes daylight savings time.

326. Providing Peeves with a case of dungbombs was a socially irresponsible action, and I will not do it again.

327. Shouting random Latin phrases while waving my wand is not acceptable charms research.

328. Regardless of how much Professor Snape's hair might annoy me, it is inappropriate to sneak into his room at night and shave it off.

329. -Likewise, it is unkind to make the aforementioned hair into a wig and wear it to potions class.

330. -Nobody cares that it makes me feel "pretty".

331. Robes are appropriate school wear. Bathrobes are not.

332. Hogwarts does not require a karaoke machine.

333. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts, A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.

334. I will not use the Marauder's Map for stalking purposes.

335. "OMGWTF" is not a spell.

336. Cornelius Fudge does not appreciate being called "Fudgie the Whale".

337. Shouting "Accio Dobby!" is not the proper way to get house-elf assistance.

338. I will not go into Dumbledore's pensieve looking for graphic faculty smut.

339. It is not necessary for me to yell "BURN!" every time Snape takes points away from Gryffindor.

340. "Defying my will" is not a crime worthy of life in Azkaban, and I should not tell that to the first-years.

341. The fact that there are only three unforgivable curses does not mean that every other curse is "pretty much forgivable".

342. I will not, under any circumstances, ask Harry Potter who died and made him boss. 343. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.

344. I am not allowed to scare the first-years by screaming "I'm melting! I'm meeeeeeeeeeeltiiing!" while they are in the showers.

345. I am not allowed to forget my Omnioculars in either the boys' or the girl's bathroom. Especially not while they are in recording mode.

346. I am not allowed to leave the catnip out in Professor McGonagall's class.

347. I will not speak to Professor Snape with a Transylvanian accent.

348. I am not allowed to ask Professor Dumbledore if the size of his beard is 'compensating for something'.

349. I will not give Professor McGonagall catnip, hairball medicine or string for Christmas, no matter how much I think she will like them.

350. I will not cast the occasional Oblivate spell on Dumbledore. Even if it would be amusing.

351. -Not even if I want to try to convince others he's going senile

352. I will not ask if Professor Lupin has had all his shots, such as rabies. Nor will I ask it of Professor McGonagall.

353. I will not start a rumor saying that Professor Snape sings "I'm too sexy for my robes" while showering. Or for that matter doing any other activity.

354. Enchanting the Sorting Hat to sort new students into the House of Martok, or any other Klingon house is forbidden.

355. Telling people that Professor Snape is an animagus and turns into a snake is not recommended.

356. Please do not tell 1st years that the fried chicken is really Kentucky Fried Owl.

357. I will not get a muggle tattoo artist to tattoo the Dark Mark on any part of my body. 358. I will not tell 1st year Hufflepuffs that the Dark Lord eats Hufflepuffs for breakfast. Or any other meal. And then tell them that if they inform anyone of the warning the Dark Lord will choose them next.

359. Singing "Wild Thing, you make my heart sing" whenever you see Professor Lupin is not allowed, even though he likes it.

360. Please stop telling 1st years about the time the Hogwarts Christmas tree ate a student.

361. I am not to "walk on water" in front of muggles.

362. I will not compel Seamus Finnegan to pursue people asking them for their Lucky Charms.

363. I am not to tell Sir Cadogan that the Knights of Ni have challenged him to a duel and then have my friends/other people to call Ni from various directions.

364. Draco Malfoy is not a vampire.

365. -Especially not a vampire named 'Spike'.

366. Watching "The Food Network" is not equivalent to sitting NEWT-level Potions classes.

367. Pinning Confederate flags to the backs of Death Eater masks is not wise.

368. Voldemort does not wish to appear in a Visine commercial.

369. -Or as the 'before' for a line of cosmetics.

370. Hogwarts is in the UK, thus the United States Constitution does not apply to any of its students. Therefore, 'Avada Kedavra' does not fall under First Amendment freedom of speech rights.

371. The ceiling of the Great Hall would not look better as an Omni IMAX dome.

372. Calling Voldemort "Baldemort" is inappropriate.

373. When called upon in class, I shall not insist that the correct answer to everything is '42'.

374. I will not create a betting pool on that Voldemort is Harry Potter's father.

375. Asking Professor Snape if a house ever fell on his sister is wrong.

376. -So is asking him where he keeps his flying monkeys and if I could touch them.

377. Headmaster Dumbledore is of no relation to Willy Wonka.

378. I cannot be a Heffalump animagus.

379. Cannot lock the Slytherins and Gryffindors in a room together and take bets on which house will come out alive.

380. Mr. Weasley's flying car is not to be taken apart piece by piece and rebuilt inside Snape's classroom.

381. Cannot charm all dictionaries to have: "Gryffindor" as the definition of "gullible". 382. Professor Snape's proper given name is not Princess Silvermoon Fairywing GlimmerMcSparkles.

383. Robes are not optional.

384. Announcing "Remember: Save a broomstick! Ride a wizard!" is not an appropriate way to conclude a Quidditch match.

385. There is no such thing as the "Hufflepuff Marshmallow Man".

386. -Even if I do conjure him up.

387. Leaving mash notes signed "Your secret admirer, Harry" in Neville Longbottom's books is both unfunny and cruel.

388. I will not sing the "Beverly Hillbillies" theme song when the Weasley family passes by.

389. -Or the "Hee-Haw" theme song.

390. -Or "Eight is Enough".

391. Asking the Weasley twins, "So do you do everything together?" is ill advised.

392. Telling Lucius what he could do with his staff... is not advisable.

393. I will not ask the school to sponsor a break dancing crew.

394. Voldemort, after being defeated, did not get served.

395. Getting Colin Creevey drunk and steering him toward a sleeping Harry Potter is just a bad idea all around.

396. -Then using his camera to take incriminating photos is not nice.

"Oh, go on and kiss him already!" is not funny.

398. -Even if Luna Lovegood does say, "Yes, I thought so too."

399. I am not a Balrog animagus.

400. The house never did fall on Professor Umbridge's sister, nor is she suffering from post-traumatic stress disorder as a result.

401. I may not try to find out if any of the owls are David Bowie in animagus form.

402. I will not ask people what their daemons are.

403. I will not offer Professor McGonagall lasagna.

404. I will not tell the Ravenclaws that they're basically useless because Hogwart's smartest student is in another house.

405. I will not call Pizza Hut and ask them to deliver to the common room.

406. I will not poison first years. No matter how much I think they need it.

407. It is not appropriate trade first years between houses.

408. I will not tempt Ravenclaws with apples. I will also not say that the Slytherins have tempted other students with apples.

409. Frankenstein is not required reading for DADA classes.

410. -Neither is Dracula.

411. I will not try to explain the laws of physics, not even for the sake of argument.

412. If I even look like I might sing "I know a song that gets on everybody's nerves" I will be Obliviated.

413. Using the 'Petrificus Totalus' curse on Draco Malfoy and dumping him in the Gryffindor common room as a Christmas present to the House means you should watch your back until June.

414. -Especially if the Weasley twins were staying over break.

415. -If Lee Jordan was there too, you're going to need a bodyguard.

416. I will not claim to be able to see the Thestrals if I cannot.

417. -I will not tell first years that "any true wizard or witch" can see Thestrals, and that if they can't they "obviously aren't cut out for this school".

418. I am not to tell Muggleborn first-years that Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans taste great

419. I will not take out a life insurance policy on any Hogwarts Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher.

420.I will not attempt to repel Dementors by covering myself in chocolate body paint. 421. I will not sneak up behind Draco and Harry while they are in their Staring Snarky Yelling Matches and yell, "SLASH SLASH SLASH! LET'S SEE SOME SLASH!"

422. I will not give Hagrid Pokmon cards and convince him that they are real animals 423. -Likewise, I will not tell First Year Muggle-borns that Pokmon battles are a part of the Care of Magical Creatures curriculum

424. I am not qualified to perform exorcisms on Hogwarts ghosts, and attempting to do so will merely offend them.

425. Draco Malfoy is not the secret identity of "Ferret Boy".

426. Harry Potter and Ron Weasley are not the magical equivalent of "Batman and Robin".

427. Telling Draco Malfoy to "make like a ferret and bounce" is always a bad idea.

428. The Crucible is not summer reading for History of Magic, and I should not tell First Years that it is.

429. "You might be a Pureblood if..." jokes will get me in trouble, especially in front of Slytherins.

430. I will not play the Darth Vader theme for Professor Snape.

431. - However, when Lucius Malfoy visits, I may play it.

432. The bludger is not a bowling ball, and Professor Snape is not a bowling pin. I will not attempt to prove otherwise.

433. If I insist on carrying out my plans of producing "Riddle-de-dee: The Voldemort Musical", I will do so under a nom-de-plume.

434. - I will not attempt to recruit the title character to play himself. Even if he looks good in tap shoes.

435. The Slytherin prefect is named Draco Malfoy, not "Rocky Horror.

436. -Transfiguring Draco Malfoy's uniform into a gold thong is inappropriate.

437. -Especially if he's wearing it.

438. Crabbe and Goyle should not be referred to as "Bulk and Skull". "Dumb and Dumber" is equally inappropriate.

439. -I should not refer to Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle collectively as "Team Rocket" either.

440. Comparing Draco Malfoy to Alex Krycek, Lindsay McDonald, Lex Luthor or any similar character is not an appropriate subject for a Muggle Studies essay.

441. I will not attempt to determine whether Malfoy is a natural blond.

442. Malfoy, Crabbe and Goyle's first names are, respectively, Draco, Vincent and Gregory, not Larry, Darryl and Darryl.

443. The Slytherin Quidditch team should not be referred to as "Draco Malfoy and a moderate amount of cross-dressing".

444. -Even if that is an accurate description.

445. The song "Ding Dong, The Witch is Dead" is never, ever appropriate.

446. "Springtime for Voldemort" is not an acceptable suggestion for the class play.

447. I am not allowed to spank others.

448. -Even if Malfoy liked it.

449. No matter how vast the uses and entertaining the results, I will not indulge in fun with duct tape.

450. -This goes double for superglue.

451. I am not to dance naked in the great hall.

452. -Or on the grounds.

453. -Generally, dancing naked is wrong.

454. Despite the appearances of the employees and the vaults, Gringotts is not the entrance to the Labyrinth.

455. -While in the company of goblins, I must not demand that I be taken to Jareth.

456. -Nor shall I tell them "You remind me of the babe.

457. Draco Malfoy no longer requires a nanny, nor does he need tucking in and "a bit of a cuddle" at bedtime.

458. - Not even if he insists that he does. And that his father has hired me to provide said service.

459. I am not to call Hogwarts "the most covert anti-Death Eater organization on the planet.

460. The Easter Bunny is not Jesus' Animagus form.

461. I am not allowed to ask Pureblood students things like, "If your parents got divorced, would they still be brother and sister?"

462. I am not allowed to discuss my theory that Voldemort is actually the second cousin of Sauron.

463. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.

464. I will not write forged letters home to the parents of Muggleborn first years detailing the Satanic rituals they are learning.

465. I will not ask Dobby why he doesn't look more like Orlando Bloom.

466. - Nor will I ask him if he works for Santa Claus in the off-season.

467. I will not invite Professor Snape to a midnight showing of "The Rocky Horror Picture Show".

468. -The same goes double for Voldemort.

469. -Likewise, I will no longer be permitted to refer to Lucius Malfoy and Bellatrix Lestrange as Riff Raff and Magenta.

470. -Especially to their faces.

471. I will stop pasting happy face stickers on Lupin's office door.

472. Draco Malfoy does not appreciate being called 'Ferret Boy'

473. -Or 'The Blond Boy Wonder'

474. Hagrid's skin is not green and I should stop calling him 'The Jolly Green Giant.'

475. Sending love notes to Professor Snape and signing them 'With Love, Draco Malfoy' is not appropriate.

476. -Neither is signing them with: 'I had a great time last night, Argus Filch.'.

477. Breaking into song during Potions class is not acceptable.

478. -Especially if the song is 'I feel pretty, oh so pretty'.

479. Or 'I'm too sexy'.

480. I am not a 'ninja sent here by Lord Voldemort to destroy Harry Potter' and should stop shouting this at meal times.

481. Lucius Malfoy's cane is not a 'pimp cane'.

482. I must never sneak up behind Draco Malfoy and coo "How's my Blondie-Bear?" 483. Teaching first years to chorus in unison "The amazing bouncing ferret" whenever they hear the name Draco Malfoy is just wrong, funny, but wrong.

484. It's not tasteful to approach Cho wearing a shirt that says `All the good-looking ones die young` with a picture of Cedric Diggory on it.

485. I am not to tell Draco that I know all about his affair with Hermione Granger.

486. -Especially if it's not true.

487. -I also cannot sell the story to Rita Skeeter.

488. -Or owl Lucius, Narcissa, or Bellatrix with the imaginary details

489. A ferret is not a proper Christmas gift for Draco Malfoy.

490. -Asking Mad-Eye Moody to turn Malfoy back into a ferret so I could keep him as a pet was not appropriate, either.

491. -Giving Draco a bowl of ferret pellets with his dinner was not an act of kindness, nor was it funny.

492. Voldemort is not my homeboy.

493. No matter how creepy and abandoned some of the towers are, I will not find Johnny Depp with scissors for hands in any of them.

494. Asking Harry how his parents are doing is just cruel.

495. Repeat: Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. Draco and Harry are not secret lovers. 496. Dont tell Gryffindors and Hufflepuffs that Lucius Malfoy goes around singing "Dance, Dark Lord, Dance".

497. I will not tell Ron and Hermione to get a room every time they start fighting.

498. -Nor will I say this to Harry and Snape.

499. -Or Harry and Draco.

500. Draco Malfoy does not smell almost subliminally of summer peaches.

501. Bungee jumping off the astronomy tower is against the rules, even if it isn't written anywhere.

502. Using Love potion number nine on people are illigal. Therefore I should not make Harry fall in love with Pansy Parkinson. Again.

does not take singing requests, therefore I should stop asking him to sing "Tearing Up My Heart"

504. -or any other songs

505. this list being used as a checklist is inappropriate, therefore i shouldn't do so

506. I will not refer to Voldemort as "Voldie-Poo"

507. I will not enchant Draco so that he looks Emo/Goth to everyone around him except himself

508.I will not Turn myself into Malfoy (Polly juice potion) and tell everyone in Hogwarts my undying love for Pansy Parkinson...again

509. I did not see Malfoy making out with Cho, Crabb, or Goyle in the girls bathroom, therefore i should not tell Harry loudly in the great hall.

510. I will not sell the sorting hat for money for ciggerates

511. I will not mix up potions and magic stuff together and make Ron drink it and tell him it is soda that tastes like that because a bunny made it just for him

512. I will not bring an evil creature from the 8th dimension and call it my pet

513. I won't dress up in a black robe, wear a bald wig and tell people that I'm Voldemort. 514. I won't dress up as the "Dark Magician" or the "Dark Magician Girl" in class.

515. Hogwarts does NOT teach you how to banish people to the "shadow realm".

516. I will not yell "Hey look It's Lord Voldemort!" at Hogsmeade

517. - nor will I yell that there is the dark mark floating over somewhere

518. I will not walk up to Ron and Hermione and say they're the perfect couple

519. - Nor will I tell that to Harry and Ginny

520. - Nor Malfoy and Pansy

521. I will not tease Voldemort about the time he needed his pink flowery teddy bear to comfort him when he had that bad bad nightmare about Harry

522. - Nor will I do the same thing with Malfoy and his blanky

523. - Nor Snape with his girly girly bunny rabbit slippers

524. I will not tell Lockheart that he is actually a dancer who stars in Swan Lake

525. I will not write Moogles instead of Muggles

526. I will not ask harry if i can have a thunder bolt scar too

527. I will not ask Malfoy is cole his brother

528. - nor snape

529. Draco is not billy idol's little brother

530. I will not ask draco if i can use his face cream

531. Saying voldy is my hero is bad

532. I will not say that Harry has a female counterpart who stars in a kids education show. 533. -nor will I say that her name is Sharry Spotter.

534. I will not steal Draco's blanky

535. I will not yell i saw Draco and snape last night! in the great hall or anywere

536. I will not charm Hermione's cat to jump up and yell Rawr i'm he-who-must-not-be-named!

537. I will not try and get zombies to eat Draco

538. -nor snape

539.I will not follow anyone around saying "pimp hat" at the most random moments

540. i will not refer to Fred and George as Hikaru and Kaouru

541. Pokemon are not real, therefore i will not convince Hagrid that Pokemon are real animals so that he'll have a leson all about pokemon.

542. I will not call Professor Dumbledore 'Dumbydork'.

543. I will not confuse Voldemort with Xehanort,

544. -nor will I say they are related in any way,

545. -nor mention that their names rhyme.

546. I will not yell, "Harry has a girlfriend! Harry loves Ginny!" in the great hall

547. - nor will I yell, "Ron loves Hermione!" in the great hall

548. I will not charm a poster of Britney Spears on Draco's wall

549: Luna Lovegood is NOT always on "physicidelic mushrooms" and i should stop implying that she is.

550:- the same goes for Profesore Trelawny

551:- calling that drug something else changes nothing.

552:-nor does saying they are high on some OTHER drug.

553. I will not tell Dumbledore that there are people outside the books who despise him 554. - nor will I say the same thing to Harry

555. I will not tell Voldemort that he's too freaken lazy to do stuff himself.

556. Cho is not on anti- depresants, nor should i imply that she needs them.

557. Cho's curly haired friend Marietta with her SNEAK pimples is not "before" for a mag.

558. -Rita Skeeter is not "after"

559. Dobby is not Harry's secret lover, no matter how much he wants to be.

560. Saying he's "obviously not good enough..." is just cruel.

561. calling the ASPCA about the way Ron treated Scabbers (wormtail) is pointless, as he is already dead, on the run, or a accomplise depending on where in the books you are. 562: I will not send Fainting Fancies to the Slythrin common room without a antidote, and only a card saying "to the pretty-est girl in the house". Again.

563:I will not blame the Ravenclaw quiditch team for the entire female population of slytherin being unconcience for no apparent reason.

564: i will not let my owl claw out the eyes of the slytherins

565: i will not let my wand run amok and paint everyones faces purple

566:i am not to call people with freckles "spotted owls"

567: i will not eat liver then throw it up on proffessor snape

568: i will not punch the wandboards until they expload

569. I will stop insisting that Snape and Hermione are secret admirors.

570. - Same goes for McGonagall and Dumbledore

571 Nearly headless nick does not approve of being called Casper the Friendly Ghost.

572 The fact that dudley didnt like his pig tail does not mean i should keep switching to differnt tails to find one he likes better.

573 If muggle children near the school WANTED their baseballs replaced with bludgers they would have said.

574 i will not convince everyone that girlnextdoor101 is a horcrux, and that for the sake of the world she MUST die.

575 i will not convince everyone that thegirlnextdoor101 is lord voldemort after drinking polyjuice

576 no matter how much i want to, i will not go into slythrin house, where i will without a doubt find thegirlnextdoor101 and murder her, then say "sorry harry, she was a death eater-in-training. she and malfoy were in this together,but i figured id leave him to you. 577 i will not ask real-moody if the real him would turn Malfoy into a feret just like the fake moody did.

578 if he says yes, i will not ask him to turn thegirlnextdoor101 into a racoon, a naked mole rat, a vole, or any other rodent.

579 i will not speak out about how in-humane it is to use vanishing charms on living creatures, because im sure i will just be told to "get off my soap box"

580 to actualy make a soap box to stand on, is inappropriet.

581 the sorcerers stone is destroyed and even though they are annoying, first year slytherins should not be told its still down there, as they all want imortality,and the devils snare gets them every time.

582 no one at hogwarts will buy Harry's gravy stained napkins and having proved this i will not try selling at hogsmead either.

583 even if interested buyers like colin creevy found me at diagon ally, i shouldnt be selling harry's gravy stained napkin.

584 it doesnt matter that he offered me 2 galleons, eleven sickles.

585 i will not use a time turner to hex Malfoy andthegirlnextdoor101 and then have eye witness's chip in that they saw me in the place of my alaby

586 i will not bring up and say its an informational website about a unique breed of diversifide creatures, or insist we use the website to learn to care for them properly

591 i will not tell Dumbledore that his appearance is "feeding stereotypes"

592 i will not tell that muggles aren't worth his valuable time.

593 i will not enchant pink girly stuffed animals to go around hugging students i dont like in front of large crowds of people.

594 i will not tell Luna Lovegood that they are Bang Ended Scoots, and that the ministry has been breeding them to fight all who oppose them

595 i will not create a Trouble makers Hall Of Fame. As such it will not be next to the portable swamp fred and george set up, and won't have pictures of harry's dad and sirius. i will also not have people vote for best trouble maker of the year.

596: i will not sing songs that say draco is a dork

597: -same goes for the rest of the students at hogwarts

598: while at this school i will behave myself as if i were a muggle

599: i am not to go in muggle territory

600: i will not make anyone nose bleed with the charm "Nose Zap"

601: i will not try to make a cross breed between Hippogriffs and Gryphons

602: transfiguration is not for making super-ultra-hybrid betwen beavers and platapus's, beavepus's and otter, beavterpus's with normal beaver, extra beavery beavterpus's with normal platapus's, extra beaverpusy beavterpus with regular otters just to create the ultimate aquatic mammal.

603: just becuase moody can through wood doesnt mean i should ask him what boggartslook like

604:I am sure the mer-people have their hands full with the giant squid, so jumping into the lake and shouting "accio champ!" would be mean

605:-likewise to "accio lock ness monster!"

606: i will not point out to harry while he struggles to figure out what the mirror of erised does to tell dumbledore, that Erised is "disire" spelled backwards

607: I will not tell Rufus Scrimingour that gnomes are not "funny little chaps" at all.

608: to prove the point above i will not tell a crowd of gnomes that they will never be de-gnomed again if they sneak into Rufus Scrimingour's clothes and bite as hard as they can 609 i will not try to lure the basilisk into aragogs web to see what creature would make it out alive.

610: i will not sell tickets to WATCH a basilisk and a giant spider kill each other.

611 i will not find people with muggle parents who like wresteling and point out how violent and stupid it is.

612 i will not tell dumbledore that the wrestling fan attacked me first, and that i had every right to hex him.

613 i will not refer to wresting as "muggle dueling with a ref" in front of the previously mentioned fan, no matter how much i feel i need to practice the leg locker curse. 614: i will not sing the "harry potter puppet pals"

615: if i am to mess up any of these rules i will have to clean the girl and boys restroom fo 3 months while i sing twinkle twinkle little star

616:i will not find 1st years on the hogwarts express and say "good luck to you! i hear this year they've got a troll to fight to decide your house. man, in my year we just had to fight fire crabs!"

617:i will not tell colin creevy to use brain. 618:i will not tell denis creevy to use his brain.

619:i will not tell denis creevy to use colin's brain.

620:i will not tell myself that i should stop saying "i will not tell"

621:I will not start to sing "From The Wall" in the middle of class and stand on the tables. 622:I will not become a rat animagus and re-name myself Yuki.

623:I will not become a cat animagus and re-name myself Kyo.

624:I will not become a dog animagus and re-name myself Shigure.

625:i will not shout the secret about Akito(found in volume 17) in the great hall, hoping to ruin it to those still reading.

626:I will not say that Peter Pettigrew is Yuki in disguise.

627:i will not ask Professor Mcgonagle "Kyo, why do you look like a woman?"

628:i will not ask sirius how his love novels are going.

629:I will not ask Olivander how many dragons had to die befor they figured out heart strings were the things with magical properties.

630:I will not write out Harry Potter series quizes for first years and say the have to leave if they don't get 100%.

631:no questions on said quiz will ask about the scar over dumbledors left knee that is a perfect map of the London Under Ground.

632:I will not explain how i remebered that.

633:I will not kill anyone in Hogwarts and blame Voldemort for the crime

634:i will not let emu's run rampid across the great hall

635:i will not commite suicide.

636:i will not let anyone else commite suicide.

637:I will not sing ' were off to see the wizard' while being sent to the headmaster's office 638: I will not sing "do you believe in magic" while walking to muggle studies

639:I will not switch my cauldron with hermione's when she's not looking.

640:I will not eat a 'nosebleed' treat to get outta class.

641:I will not use the room of requirment to see the inside of a volcanoe.

642: I will ask the director of the Harry Potter movies how he knew to make the Sorting Hat a boy, as I'm not sure I even want to find out.

643:I will stop insisting Nevilles in love with the new mandrakes.

and DO NOT make a perfect couple.

645:I will stop looking through old Prophets to see if Snapes related to Madam Pince or Filch 646:I will not ask Proffesor Snape if he still has his gray underpants.

647:I will not teach to use a computer and have him e-mail pictures of Britney Spears to Snape saying that it's the actor who plays him in the movie.

648:and when Proffesor Snape confronts me(again)I will not yell "HEY!SEVVY HAS A GIRLFRIEND!"for anyone in the corridor to hear(again)

649:I will not send Dobby to Proffesor Snapes room with shampoo and conditioner.

650: especially not American Girl

651:I will not charm the great hall to play slayer when draco comes in

652:nor when snape comes in.

653:I will not use the room of requirment to host a 'snape needs some sugar' party

654:I will not try the Super Sensory charm to listen to what the other gender really talks about.

656:I will not change my appearance by magic, run in to the corridor near Snape's dungeon, and sing Scream-o songs at the top of my lungs, wait until he sees, then run. 657:When I hear Harry shouting (again) in the fifth book, I will not stick my head in and say "bad things happen to good people."

658:I will not yell VOLDY IS MY MENTOR anywhere in hogwarts.

659:I will not use the room of requirment to have the backstreetboys play in hogwarts. 660:Luna lovegood is not on drugs

661:nor will i give her some

662:I will not blast people with balls of magic.

663:Or with any other substance.

664:And I will not sing "It's a kind of magic" while blasting people.

665:I will not sell any of these things i'm not supposed to do to first years retitaling it"Things I'm allowed to do at hogwarts"

666:no matter which teacher I intend to share my fortune with.

667:I will not tell Harry the veil at the department of mysteries is actually a magical tranasporter that took Sirius to the Bahamas

668:The next time I see Professors Dumbledore and Snape talking,I will not shout"Man,I knew Dumbledore was gay,but he's losing his taste"

669: even if i run very fast

670:i will only use this list for things i'm not allowed to do,not to comment that I can avoid Proffesor Snape.

671:i will not ask Sirius if his middle name is Lee

672:i will not ask Hagrid how he was created,because frankly I do not want to know

673:i will not put dead spiders in Georges ear hole.

674:-or anything else for that matter

675:i will not X ray Madam Maxime and compare her bones to a dinosaurs

676:i will not put my findings on the notice board

677:i will not play "Crank that,Soulja Boy" during potions class and ask Proffesor Snape to join in the dancing.

678: even if he does know the moves

679:Voldemort is not Hilary Clinton in disguise

680: I will not write on the front of my black notebook 'Death Note'

681: - nor will I enchant said 'Death Note' to have anyone who touches it sees a flying monster

682:I will not throw frogspawn at Nevil.

683:-nor will I throw it at anyone else.

684:I will not create the magical equavilant of a Nuclear explosion. It's just dumb.

685:I will not conjure up lemons and say "Life hath given thou LEMONS!"

686:I will not turn anyones robes into a turtle.

687:-It being a rare breed of Painted TUrtles that could be used for breeding makes no difference.

688:I am never to introduce myself as "Talia, the Queens Own" or ask where my Companion Rolan has gone

689:- likewise refering to myself as Herald-Mage Vanyel is wrong.

690:-I will not ask Draco Malfoy if Snape is good in bed.

691:-I will also not ask about Harry Potter

692:-I will also not ask Harry Potter if Snape is good in bed.

693:-I will also not ask Snape if Lucius Malfoy is good in bed.

694:-I will not refer to Professor Snape as "Sevvykins".

695:-Or "Snivellus".

696:- I will not stand on the Desk in potions class and sing "From The Wall"

697:- While doing so I may not point to Snape at "No Dark sarcasm in the class room" 698:- I may not pay Hagrid, Peeves, or any other non-teacher to burst in and say "Hey! You, Teacher! Leave those kids alone!"

699:- I will not Imply that Professor Snape is Ozzy Ozbourne.

700:- I will not ask Professor Snape how "Ozzy is"

701:- Professor Snape is in no way related to Ozzy Ozbourne.

702:- Draco Malfoy is not Billy Idol.

703:- Nor is he an Albino. 7

04:- Nor will I tell the first years this.

705:- I am not to tell First years that Dumbledore is Santa's brother.

706:I am not to imply that if Hogwarts had a special needs group then Dumbledors sister could have gotten help.

707:I am not to ask the house elves if the Griffindors could have Cheetos and Doritos with dinner.

708:I cannot ask the house elves to carve the ham into a human head and serve it to Slytherin.

709:Nor any other body part.

710:I will not spread the rumor that Umbridge was muggle born.

711:I won't put new born babies under the sorting hat just to confuse it.

712:I will not put owls under the sorting hat just to confuse it.

713:I will not ask which house Dumbldor was in.

714: nor will I suggest that he was in the wrong one, for we all know he is incredibly brave and extremly clever.

715:I will not ask Mrs. Pince to find me the manga section.

716:I will not bet on how many paper planes stick in professer snapes hair.

717:I did not see Pansy in the Slytherin common room singing 'I Kissed A Girl' and I should stop telling people that I did.

718:-I also did not see her singing 'Pansylicious'.

719:-The same goes for Hermoine

720:- I will not stand in the middle of the great hall and sing, "I may be a tiny chimney sweep but I have an enormous...broom"

721:- Nor anywhere else for that matter.

722:- I am not aloud to sing the aforementioned song at all.

723-I will not go down to the kitchens, get a bowl of grapes, and then make them peel them for me.

724-No aligators. No exceptions.

725-I will not challenge Aragog and his mate to a "14 legged race" no matter how fun the out come would be.

726-Demanding to the Minister why wizards weren't out magicly helping the Giant Panda populations is highly frowned upon.

728-writing a buisness letter about it doesn't stop it from being rude.

729-Writing TWO buisness letter likewise changes nothing.

730-even if I did say "Dear" at the begining.

731-There has never been and there isn't now a great lord Waldemart and you are discouraged from voicing that idea in front of Voldemort

732-You are also greatly discouraged from saying that he is the greatest wizard in the world because Voldemort might not respond do that too kindly.

733-Screaming out "I saw Harry and Draco down in the dungeons snogging each other" in the middle of the great hall is not appropriate.

734-Nor in any other place

735-Even if everyone finds it amusing

736-Using wizard swears inside the walls of hogwarts is also forbidden even if Dumbledore has forgotten he set this rule.

737-Selling photoshoped pictures of Harry and Voldemort making out is not a way to earn money.

738-Even every student buys them and sticks them up on their walls.

739-Turning Draco Malfoy into a ferret is not funny anymore.

740-Casting the Imperius curse to make him transfigure himself into a ferret is even less appropriate.

741-Enchanting mistletoe to take up the properties of devil snare is not funny.

742-Enchanting the armour around Hogwarts to barge into Slytherin Common Room and start singing "Ding dong, the heir of Slytherin is dead" or "Ding, dong, Voldemort is dead" the night Voldemort is defeated is not allowed.

743-Nor is enchanting them to go to Gryffindor Common Room and sing "Ding, Dong, James and Lily Potter are dead"

744-Telling first years that at the end of the year they have to do an exam involving a three-headed dog, devil snare, an oversized chess board, flying keys, and a table of potions, one which will kill you, and then in the end battling the DADA professor, who has he-who-must-not-be-named bluging out on the back of his head is not funny, or allowed.

745-Enchanting a bludger to hit Crabbe or Goyle on the back of the head to see if they have any brain cells to loose is not considered an appropriate Charms homework experiment .

746-Even if the it proves that they don't.

747-I will not cast the imperius curse on Snape and make him sing 'I'm to sexy' and strip of his shirt no matter how amusing the idea is.

748-Nor will i charm him to sing 'I feel pretty' and dance around with the moves from Bet On It no matter what youtube video i got the idea from.

749-I will never destroy anything with my magic until after class.

750-I will never use Harry Potter's husk as a doll to fool the Hogwart's members with. 751-I will never bring a computer to Hogwarts

752-I will never use PowerPoint to try to explain the plot of the 7th book 7

53-I will never $pE k fr|n lNgu g3

754-I will never call Severus Snape, or Voldemort, n00bs

755. Victor Krum is in no way like jack sparrow.

756. I should not ask to see his kracken.

757. Voldemort is not davy jones.

758. I am not allowed to ask to see his kracken either.

759. Snape has no interest in going down 'to the paradise city, where the grass is green and the girls are pretty' and i should stop sending invitations to aforemention place

760. I will not run up to faculty and slap them with fish, no matter how humorous the results.

761. Under no circumstances am I allowed to sing the entire soundtrack of ANY Rogers and Hammerstein musical in public

762. -And if I do, broadcasting it over the entire school results in extra consequences. 763. Despite how interested I am in Werewolves I am not allowed to replace Professor Lupin's Wolfsbane with water in order to track his transformation.

764. - Nor am I allowed to remove it for the purpose of becoming a Werewolf as well. 765. Despite how much I like dogs, putting a leash on Professor Lupin us inappropriate. 766. I will not call proffesor trelawney "phsycadelic" or "tubular"

767. -or snape SO pissed!

768. I am not to insist that 'Sweeney Todd' has set up shop in the owlery and that Dobby is moonlighting as 'Mrs. Lovett'.

769. Dobby is also not looking for 'his precious'

770. After an arguement with Harry I am not allowed to comeback with "Go cry to your Mama "

771. Hogwarts is not holding auditions for America's next top model and I should stop telling the first years otherwise.

772. Hermione doesn't find it amusing to have her notebooks charmed to chorus 'Hermione Weasely'

773. -Or 'Hermione Malfoy' 7

74. Dressing up as the muggle George Washington and attempting to chop down the Whomping Willow is not advised.

775. Claiming the voices inside my head made me do something is not an adequete(sp?) excuse for anything.

776. Nor is claiming my evil twin Larry did it.

777. Dumbledore does not wish to participate in my amateur porno and I should stop asking.

778- I am ABSOLUTELY not allowed to enchant Umbridges shoes to make them clop like hoofs when she walks, no matter how much Fred would have loved it.

779- I am not allowed to send an owl to Mrs. Wesley and ask where Fred's hand on her clock is pointing...thats just mean.

780- I am not allowed to buy Voldemort a poodle and paint it's fur pink.

781- I am not allowed to kill said poodle in his sleep and hang its bloody carcass from the ceiling of Voldemort's bedroom.

782- I will not use Veritaserum on Snape to confirm our suspicions that he is, indeed, a virgin.

783- Conversely, I will not use the above-named potion to find out just how many times he's pleasured himself while using Legilimens on Harry and watching him see Lily in the mirror of Erised.

784- I will never, ever, EVER serenade Draco Malfoy with "Every Little Thing She Does is Magic."

785- I will tell Luna Lovegood that if and only if she consumes poison mead, she will be able to see Nagrles, Wrackspurts and other such creatures with the naked eye.

786- I will not steal Luna Lovegood's bottlecork charm.

787- I will not ask Dean Thomas is 'Jesus was a brotha.'

788- I will not ask Professor Telawney if she supports the legalization of marijuana. 789- Or if she is a vegetarian.

790- Or if she can see auras.

791- I am never to break Mr. Weasley's heart by telling him that rubber ducks do not have a 'function' per say.

792- No one is to EVER EVER EVER play music by Justin Bieber, in Hogwarts or anywhere else for that matter.

793- I am not allowed to play the line: "But that was when I ruled the world" from "Viva La Vida" by Cold Play for Voldemort.

794- I am not allowed to sell Pool Passes to the First Years and tell them the pool is on the 7th Floor.

795- I will not ask Filch how often he turns into a cat 796- Nor if he does so to get with Mrs. Norris.

797- I will not ask how he changes, hes a squib.

798- I will really not ask if Mrs. Norris is good in bed.

799- I will not point and laugh at Harry, exclaiming how all the death threats Trelawney made were actually true.

800 - Professor Snape does not find the phrase "Lockheart is my baby daddy" remotely humorous, especially when written on any of his belongings.

801 - Spongebob is not a new Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Bean flavor.

802 - - Neither is parsnip.

803 - - Seeing who can sell the most fake flavors to first years is not an appropriate pastime, and I am not going to keep their money.

804 – Vanishing Muggles' books, keys, clothes, cars, etc., is not funny in any way.

805 – Valentine and Voldemort are not the same person.

806 – - Neither are Jace and Draco. Or Clary and Ginny.

807 – - On that note, Draco and Ginny are not in love.


	5. Chapter 3 classes

**3-The letters **

I looked at everything i had read and burst out laughing saying "what the fuck is this!"  
Moments later Ang did the same thing. We kept laughing and quoting some of the rules and saying how we were going to do that and how funny it would be. We laughed for so long and hard we fell on the ground, holding our sides and began to cry. We laughed and laughed. It felt like only 2 minutes had past after we had been laughing and quoting for about a hour. As we calmed down, we took a look at the things we would need.  
"huh, where are we going to get all this shit" I questioned.  
"I don't know, let's send a letter back saying we don't know where to get this stuff" Angela said. "ok, fine." I took a piece of notebook paper out of my notebook Angela gave me and wrote:

Dear who ever it may concern,  
We will be attending but we have some questions. Where do we get this stuff and what are the directions to that place. Where do we go to get to Hogwarts? We have nothing to carry all the stuff we will need to bring and have no chance of getting something to carry it all on our own. Without this information, we will not be able to attended. Please send a letter back answering our questions. Thank you.

-Angela and Meghann Riddle

I tied the note onto the owl that gave me my letter's foot and it flew out of the door.  
"I have nothing for you" I said to the other owl and it left out the window.  
"soooooo...what do we do now" Angela questioned. "watch Ghost Hunters, of course" I replied and we laid down and watched some episodes when the owl from before flew in. I took the note off it and read

Dear Ms. M Riddle and Ms. A Riddle,  
You can get all the stuff you need at Diagon Ally. To get there, we will send you an escort tomorrow. To get to Hogwarts, you take a train. To get to this train, you go to the nearest train station and walk or run into the wall 9 3/4 to get to that platform. When you are in Diagon Ally we will have your escort take you to buy a trunk for each of you. This is your information. Your escort will be at your house _('it's more of a run-down shed' _I thought to myself_)_ tomorrow at 9am sharp. Have a good night and we hope to see you at Hogwarts.  
-Professor McGonagall

I showed Ang the letter and sent the owl away.  
"Huh. So who do you think will be our escort" she questioned. "How the fuck should i know Ang, that's a stupid question" I replied annoyed playfully. We watched Ghost Hunters for the rest of the day and eventually fell asleep watching it.

Tap, tap, tap. _I heard. I grumbled and didnt want to get up. Whoever was at the door could leave. _Tap, tap, tap _I heard it again. Then I heard the familiar squeak of the door.  
_"AH! WHOT HE UCK ES DERE!? I HAVE AWEPON AN I KNOW HOWT O USE ET SOW HACH OUT ASH HOLE!" I heard a similar voice to an Angela i knew say. It sounded like she was barley awake cause she slurred most of her words. I slowly opened my crusted shut eyes and stared dumb-founded at the scene before me. Angela was standing with her knees touching, and her arms out infront of her holding a pocket knife with loopy eyes that were barely open.

I stared at her. Pocket knife in hand, that stupid fake tough stare on her face. Then i looked to what was in front of her. There was Professor Snape standing in the doorway, still holding the door, staring at her with the WTF face.  
I opened my mouth but no words came out. I slowly got up and neither of them moved or broke their staring contest.  
I sighed "hey, look, im sorry we weren't up in time. We fell asleep watching a show and we obviously don't have an alarm. Im really sorry Professor, especially about Ang. If you would move out of the doorway, i could make her come back to earth" I said in a bored and tired expression. Snape moved back about 3 steps not braking the stare between him and Ang. I grabbed Ang's arm and pulled her outside as she walked like a drunk. I walked the 4 yards down to the creek behind our cottage and Snape fallowed. When I got to the edge with Ang's arm still in my hand, I crouched down, pulled her down, and dunk her head in the freezing cold water. She began to wave her hands around and tried to speak while her head was in the water.  
I pulled her head out of the water by her hair and looked at her "better?"  
She looked at me and had an anime sweat-drop -_-'.  
"I guess not" I said and dunked her head into the water again. This was repeated for 2 more times until i pulled her head out of the water and asked "better" and she said "WHAT THE FUCK MAN! I CANT EVEN WAKE UP ANYMORE WITHOUT SNAPE BEING THERE AND YOU DUNKING MY HEAD INTO THE WATER" she shouted angrily.  
"Better" I confirmed nodding my head. I got up to see a bored and slightly aggravated Snape standing behind us. Ang got up to nervously.  
"Well, you both have 10 minutes to get ready before i leave" Snape said. Ang and I dashed to the shed, shut the door, quickly changed, brushed our hair, and took a pack of cigarettes and a lighter and in the other pocket some gun. Ang and i were dressed the same. Ang was wearing baggy forest-green pants that had many pockets, a black Evanescence t-shirt and the big baggy jacket that she always wears when she is going to steal stuff. I was wearing slick-black skinny jeans with a slipknot t-shirt and a comfy normal black jacket with no extra pockets to steal stuff.  
We walked out the door in 7 minutes, a new record of getting ready for the day quickly. We walked out the shed door feeling like we owned this world. Snape sighed and we laughed.  
"Follow me" he said. We followed him as he walked down the street to the store we normally stole from.  
He went around the back and said "pay attention". He tapped 4 bricks with his finger and the wall transformed into and entrance to a crowded busy street. Ang and my mouth dropped as we walked through. Snape sighed and walked through and we followed.  
"This is Diagon Ally" he said "you can get all your school supplies here and more". I smiled amazed. Everywhere i looked there were wizards and witches dressed in robes and hats and owls carrying messages and cats and all different creatures around. It was amazing.

"leeetttssss... GGGOOOOOOO" I saw Angela shout enthusiastically and fist-pump the air. I sighed and so did Snape.  
"Lets get your school robes first" Snape said walking to a shop and walking in. We followed him inside.  
"oh hello. Hogwarts first years, right" a kind looking women said.  
"Yes" Snape replied.  
"Well come on, come on, one of you come with me" she said enthusiastically. She was so kind. Ang went first, got all measured and got her robes in about 5 minutes.  
"You next" she pointed to me and Angela walked back over here all confident holding a bag with her robes in it. I walked to where the woman was standing.  
She measured me and everything, i was quiet the whole time. She didn't seem to mind though, I was glad of that. She gave me my robes in a bag and I thanked her and walked over to where Snape and Angela were standing waiting for me.  
I gave a small nervous smile to Angela and she laughed and playfully punched my shoulder "stop being so passive" she said and laughed. Snape smirked. I smiled wider but didnt go all out like Ang was.  
Next we went to a place where we got our school books. We each got our own. I was so happy; I immediately opened my potions book and began reading the authors note and the intro. "Your interested in potions Ms. Riddle," Snape asked me smiling.  
"I don't know" I shrugged " it seems very interesting and a challenge. I always like a challenge" I said shrugging my shoulders and smiling. He smirked and took us to get a cauldron, glass phials, a telescope, and brass scales. Then we went to get wands.  
"Hello, hello. Come over here one of you" I guessed to be Olovander called to us from his desk. He looked at each of us. Stared us up and down and seemed to look into our soul when he looked at our eyes. He examined us throuroly in 2 minutes.  
"Hhhhmmmmm...let me see" he mumbled to himself and went to the many shelves stacked with boxes. He came back with four boxes and handed me a wand. I stared at it confused. _What was supposed to happen?  
_"Well" Olovander said slightly irritated, "wave it". I waved it and some sparks flew out and broke something.  
"No, no, no, stupid guess" he mumbled to himself. He took the wand and gave me another one "here, try this one". I flicked it and knocked down a bunch of boxes off a shelf. He took it from me and said "obviously not". He handed me another one. I felt this strange feeling that overpowered me and my hair started to flow in non-existent wind.  
"AHA. That's the one," he said with a smile on his face, "chestnut, 7 1/2 inches, and dragon heartstring. Quite a tricky one" he said looking at me mysterious. I brushed it off and admired my new wand. He did the same he had done for me and Ang went through 5 wands until she got hers which was  
"rose wood, 13 3/4 inches, and a strand of unicorn hair. Very peculiar indeed, for both of you" he said eyeing us suspiciously. We both shrugged it off and ignored his confused thoughtful stare as we left the store.  
"Lets get a pet" Ang said determined.  
I sighed and Snape said "very well". He took us to a place loaded with mice and toads and cats and owls. All different types of each. I didnt want a pet, something inside me told me not to get one, but that didnt stop me from looking at all the animals and playing with them. As i played with the animals, Angela looked around and examined every one of the creatures. She got this a black angry-looking owl.

"Its a little evil looking, dont you think" I questioned Angela as it was being paid for by Snape. "I think its cute" Ang said as it nipped her finger affectionately. I sighed and we walked out the door.  
"Ok" I said thinking, "all we need now is something that we can carry all our stuff in to go to Hogwarts". Snape nodded and led us to another store where we bought two large trunks to store all our stuff.  
"Now we will go to the bank" Snape said. We followed him to the bank, inside there were thousands of goblins everywhere. They all looked like they had a spoon stuck up their butts. I looked at the floor and followed Snape. Ang just stared at all them ignoring the angry stares she received back. We walked to the front and Snape whispered something in the top goblin's ear. The goblin nodded and led us to where a cart was down some halls. We all got on it and it took off, it was like being on a roller coaster. Ang laughed the whole time and i just sat there calmly but smiling.  
It stopped in front of a very large door at the end of the caves. We got out and Snape handed the goblin a key, the goblin opened the door and inside...inside were millions of gold coins and silver coins(mostly gold) and a bunch of different strange artifacts. Ang and i walked in amazed.  
"Th-this is all o-ours" I questioned staring around in amazement.  
"yes, all of it is yours" Snape replied. Ang and i began to laugh. We'd never had so much money. The goblin gave us a small cotton bag that stretched to hold some of our money in. Ang and i filled each of the bags and it didnt even look like we made a dent in the large pile. I laughed and we walked out of the room.  
"I need you two to pay me back" Snape said comely. I emptied half of my bag into his hands and said "good?"  
"yes, thank you" Snape replied. I went inside to refill my bag and then we went back up to the top and left Gringots.  
"Ok, you two have everything you need" questioned Snape.  
"ye-" i began to say but was cut off by an excited Ang pointing at a window(of a shop) with a very cool purse/bag thing in it.  
"I'm buying you that and you can't say no" Ang said in a determined voice as she walked towards the shop. I sighed and followed her with Snape behind me going along with it. It looked amazing. There was no way i could say no. The purse was large and black. It had fake black fur on the front flap that lifted up to the rest of the purse.  
She bought it and handed it to me. I smiled and ran my hand against the black fuzz, It seemed to purr and the strap at the bottom moved. I froze. This was amazing. Snape simply smiled and Angela was like smiling like a maniac. I looked at it and ran my hand against the fuz again, it was almost like fur. The flap then opened and i looked inside. It looked like it went on forever, It was like a ginoramus room that could hold anythng.  
"Ca-Do- does it hold a lot. Like, does it go on forever" I looked at the store clerk .  
She smiled and replied, "It can hold anything no matter the size. It is like a giant room that goes on and on no matter how much you fill it. I don't suggest putting a living person or animal in there though" when she said person she looked at Ang and when she said animal she looked at me. I smiled and just looked at it amazed. I crouched down and began trying to fit Ang's and mine trunks filled with all our school stuff in it. It seemed to open up just enough for the trunks to fit and engulfed it. When i looked in i had put the trunks in i saw them stacked ontop of each other like they were in storage.  
I began to chuckle "this is so cool , Thank you Anggy" I said and gave her the widest grin humanly possible.  
She laughed and smiled too.  
"Ok, well, i have a meeting to attended to so i must go. To get back just go to the leacky caldrun, there is a similar brick wall in the back room and you just touch the same bricks like i did before. To get here, go to the back of the store in the muggle neiborhood that we went to and tap the bricks like i did. I'll be off now" and with that he disappeared. I frowned at his disappearance but then looked at my new purse and smiled like an idiot.

We walked around and went into different shops. We went into Zonko's Joke shop and looked around, and spent the rest of the day there. We went home when it was 9ish at night. We walked the way home while smoking a cigarette.  
"Do you think we'll have fun at Hogwarts" I questioned Angela as we walked in our shed which was home to us.  
"Shoosh yeah. We'll be all the talk and make the place wish we'd stop fucking with it" she said smiling like a maniac as she let her new owl out of it's cage and fly around the shed.  
"Y-yeah, your right" I said slightly unsure but trying to sound confident "what did you name that 'cute' guy" I said pointing at the owl trying to change the subject.  
"ima name him," she said in her thinking voice, "I think i'll name him Ruku" She said smiling at him.  
I chuckled and yawned. "ima get some sleep" I said laying down and covering up. _Only a few more weeks until we go to Hogwarts, _I thought as I drifted to sleep.

I heard a scratching noise at the door. "what" i moaned. Next i was opening the door and outside of it was a black fuzzy Persian.  
"_let me in" _I heard a male voice say inside of my head, I looked down. There was this black long haired fuzzy Persian staring into my eyes.  
He looked sooooo CUTE! ^_^ i stared at him.  
"_yeah, you can hear me, now are you going to let me in or not?" _I thought the polite thing to do would be to let him in. I felt like this cat was mine, that i knew him all my life, like we were old friends being reunited. I began to shake and looked around confused.  
"Meghann, MEGHANN" I heard Angela say as she shook me awake.  
"There's something scratching at the door." I got up and opened the door. There, sitting in front of the door was the same black Persian from my dream. It was looking at me in the same way, i waited for the voice in my head, instead i heard it coming from outside but it was the cat's voice saying "let me in".  
I responded "ok, let me ask Angela if you can come in". I turned around to Angela and she was staring at me like i was some kind of freak. We already knew we both were but we didnt stare at each other like that in a serious manner ever.  
"Dude, the cat made no noise, and you meowed back to it" she said like 'wtf is up with you?' I looked confused and looked back down at the cat.  
"dont look at me" he said. I sighed and looked at Angela and asked if he could come in. She nodded. As he trotted in he saw the bird. SSQQQUUUAAAWWWWKKKKKK! The cat stopped dead in his tracks. His eyes went wide and he looked shocked.  
"what the hell was that" i heard him say confused looking at the bird.  
"An annoying owl" I said to him.  
"there- you just did it again. Spoke in cat. You can speak cat" she said surprised. I laughed and the cat calmed down.  
"so, whch ya gunna name him" Angela questioned. I thought about it, midnight was the first thing that came to my mind.  
"I think i'll call him midnight" his ears perked up and he flicked his tail pleasingly and looked at me when i said midnight.  
"Midnight it is" i said, he seemed to smile.  
"this is is nice place, homey in a slob way" he said chuckling. Ang didnt hear the chuckle, she didnt hear the sentence, she didnt even see the mouth open the tiny bit it did. All she heard was a purr. I pleasant purr out of me and midnight.  
"well, im going out, i'll be back later" my new cat said as he walked out the door.  
"Ya know, i think im gunna like that cat" I said as he was a few steps out the door to Angela. Midnight heard me and chuckled, but to Angela it was a purr.

Anglea laughed and we smoked and went about our daily stuff. I drew, read, and wrote. Angela ate, watched Ghost Hunter and annoyed the fuck out of me. Boring but it was fun.  
(7 hours later, 7pm)  
I heard the all to familiar _scratch scratch_ at the door. _Midnight _I thought. I stopped sketching Ruku as he sat on his perch sleeping, and opened the door. There standing looking up into my eyes with the cutes face i ever saw was midnight. And at his front feet there was a dead mouse. _He's trying to feed me. I should be happy and grateful _I thought. I bent down and scratched his ears and told him how a good cat he was and how handsome he is. He closed his eyes and rubbed against my hand and enjoyed every minute of my praise.  
"RONT" he meowed. It wasn't a full meow, just ront. I laughed, he was saying thank you, he didnt have to speak in words i understood, the cute half-meow he made was enough. I rubbed his neck and scratched his ears and told him how handsome he is and how thankful i was that he caught that for me for about 30 minits. Then he walked inside, walked onto my make-shift bed thing of clothes and blankets and yawned.  
I swear, his whole entire face opened up. It must have spit in half and completely opened up, half his face was gone and all you saw was his nose and mouth opening up. Then he laid down, stretched, relaxed, and made himself comfortable and closed his eyes to try and sleep. Ang and I looked at each other and laughed. Midnight didnt even flinch when we laughed. I couldn't resist, I settled down into my make-shift bed and fell asleep next to him.

A few weeks past and from time to time midnight caught me food. He got me 2 baby bunnies an a bunch of mice. Each night he got me something, i left it at the door and when midnight was sound asleep, Ang fed it to Ruku.

After long waiting, finally the day came when we had to go to the train station, run into the wall like it said in the letter and get onto the train to go to Hogwarts.  
That morning we got up extra early so we would have time to walk the 60 minutes to the train stop. I had to go buy a cat carrier for Midnight, so when i was ready to walk to the store and 'buy' one, Angela packed all our clothes into our trunks, and other possessions like the food, cigarettes, lighter, the portable DVD player and the CDs and such. I came back to the shed that was now almost completely empty. The trunks had all our clothes and books and food in it. Ruku was in his cage next to Angela who was sitting on the only chair we had next to the cabinet we kept food in. The rest of the stuff in the shed was furniture. So it was basically empty. I told an annoyed Midnight to go inside the cat carrier. He looked at me quizzically but didnt object. Before he had the chance to turn around inside the cat carrier i locked him in. My purse had already been filled with the trunks that had all our stuff in it.  
I put the purse over my shoulde , picked up a Midnight's cat carrier as i ignored all the swear words he was saying to me that only i could hear and said "come on, lets go" in a solemn voice. Although the shed was a pretty shitting place to live, the thing grew on me. All my happiest and best memories had something to do with the shed, if it wasnt in the shed, it was around the shed. I loved this old thing. This was my home, and i was leaving it. No matter how cool the place i was going to, i had always called this place my home since i came here and was now leaving it.

Ang knew what i was feeling, she gave me a sad smile and then gave me an insane maniac smile and said "think of all the chaos we're going to cause."  
I laughed and said "yeah, your right, come on lets go."  
We walked out into the early day. I turned around. We didnt have any ways of locking it up, we never had a need to. Someone was always home or we'd be back within a couple hours, now we were going to be gone for months. I found a vine on the ground, picked it up, and tied it around the door handle to the nails sticking out on the side next to it. I tied it so tight i was sure no one would be able to cut through it it was so tight and overlapped. The only way inside would be to saw down and entrance. And no one ever really goes into the woods shielding our home from the road. I sighed and we started our journey to the train station.  
( 60 minutes later)

The whole time we were walking Midnight yelled at me angrily saying stuff like "you better let me out of this", "when i get out your dead", "im so fucken angry at you i could almost kill you, so much for being like dest friends or some shit like that". Then he went so far as to call me such names I would prefer not to repeat. All Ang heard was an annoyed angry growl coming from Midnight. I ignored him the whole way, and he also kept saying from time to time to stop ignoring him, i didnt budge. The walk there was quite nice besides the fact that Midnight kept swearing at me.

When we got to the train station, it was all busy. We walked to the wall that separated platform 9 and 10. We were 5 feet in front of the wall.  
"well, it said to walk or run into the wall. D-do you think it will work" I questioned nervously. Ang laughed like an idiot, i swear it was the scariest thing i ever heard. People stared at her. If a person who had the number for a crazy-hospital thing on them, they would call it, thats how insane her laugher was.  
Then she said in the craziest voice i ever heard from her(but it was still her voice) "lets DO THIS THING!" and with that she ran into the wall, i followed after her, i dont think any people saw us when we went into the wall.  
Through the wall was a different place i had never seen before. Many adults that looked like witches and wizards were there bidding their kids farewell. And lot of kids that looked from 18-11. Almost all the kids had big carts with their trunks and an animal(if they had one) in it. They were all trying to get on the train and more. Ang and i laughed as we noticed we were the only kids there that were carrying the least stuff, all our stuff was in my cool purse.

The train was about to leave when we boarded it. We got on and looked in the compartments, almost everyone was full. After walking through almost the full train, we got to one compartment with 2 red-heads in it laughing. I slammed opened the door and yelled "I DONT CARE WHO YOU THE FUCK YOUR TWO REDDY'S ARE BUT WE'RE SITTING WITH YOU TWO AND ARE GOING TO TELL YOU HOW WE ARE GOING TO CAUSE CHAOS IN HOGWARTS SCHOOL!" They looked at each other and smiled wildly.

One of the red heads stood up and bowed "welcome, welcome. We believe you have stumbled upon your masters in causing chaos at Hogwarts."  
The other one stood up and bowed, "you must be first-years. We will assist you in your journey through this year as long as you stay funny." Ang and i began to laugh, they straitened up and smiled widely.  
"So, we can sit here" I questioned raising one eyebrow. They laughed and let us come in. We sat own.  
"So, who are you red-head number one" i pointed at one red-head, "and red-head number two" i pointed at the other.  
Red-head two stood up and said "I am Fred Weasly, as you said 'red-head number one'.  
" The other one stood up and said "Noooo, im Fred, and im red-head number one" he pointed to the other redhead and whispered to us "ignore him, hes completely insane."  
"Oh and your not" the other one said playfully punching the one.  
Ang laughed, "so, now that your done, who's the read Fred and who's the other one?"  
"I'm Fred, the fun one" said one.  
The other one said "Im George" whispered "the sexier one."  
Fred looked offended and said "I still think i'm sexier than you" and fake pouted.  
Ang and i laughed, when we were done, George asked who we are.  
"Im Angela" said Angela standing up.  
"Im Meghann" I said standing up. "And we're" we said in unison, then gave a crazy pose "the crazy sisters". We pretended that there was dramatic music playing in the background as we posed and looked totally serious about it. They laughed, and we all high-fived. Then we sat down.

We went on talking about pranks and stuff, and they showed us some of their inventions, which i thought were the coolest. I showed them my purse and how it held everything, they thought it was cool. Ang and them mostly talked as i joined in here and there but i mostly looked out the window. Halfway through the ride we changed into our school robes. All Fred and George had to eat were some sandwiches, so ang and i shared our pile of junk food with them. The whole time we were in the compartment, midnight kept yelling, everyone just heard angry meows or growling, but i heard swear words and insults and death threats. Ruku seemed quite the whole time.  
After hours on the train, I gasped, Fred, George and Ang looked out the window.  
"I-is that it" I questioned pointing at the great castle i thought to be Hogwarts.  
Fred looked at where i was pointing "yup, home sweet home."  
I grinned wildly, so did Ang when she saw the castle. It was amazing. I always wanted to live in a big mansion or castle with so many rooms, corridors, and halls that led to so many mysterious places. It all looked so amazing, the whole thing. It was beautiful. As we got closer, the train slowed down until it came to a stop. We gathered up our things and got off.

"Firs' yers ova 'ere. Firs' yers ova 'ere" I heard a big man calling. He was twice as big as any adult and 3 times- 4 times as big as the students.  
"Well, i guess this is where we depart" said a bowing Fred.  
"It was lots of fun, we hope to see you soon" Said a bowing George.  
Then they stood up smiling, we laughed as they walked away to where they were supposed to go. Ang and i walked together to the huge man holding the lamp. When we were all gathered around him he said for us to follow him and then get into the boat, except he said it with his accent thing. We did as he said and as we went across the lake, i was amazed at how big and mysterious the school was. It was beautiful. We got off the boats at the dock and went up many stairs until we were outside these huge door, that i later learned were door that led to the great hall.

I thought it would be best to put midnight and Ruku in my purse, i told them that it would be ok and not to fight. Then i put them in.

Professor McGonagall was introduced by the big man, and then Professor McGonagall said thank you to Hagrid, i assumed that was the big man's name. Professor McGonagall gave her little into speech, but i wasn't listening, i was nervous, and off in my own world at the time. Ghosts then came out of the walls and greeted us, i didnt pay attention to that either. Professor McGonagall then opened the doors and let us in a straight-line, one behind the other. We walked in and there were candles on the walls and some floating in the air. I looked at the ceiling, it was the night sky. All beautiful and starry.  
I heard a girl a few people in front of me whisper "It's bewitched to look like the sky outside. I read about it in _Hogwarts, A History."  
_ I hadn't even touched any of my books except for my potions book and my magical creatures book. This girl sounded smart.  
We walked to the front of the room with four tables covered with platters that should be filled with food. On a four-legged stool stood a hat. It began to sing

_"Oh, you may not think I'm pretty  
But dont judge on what you see  
I'll eat myself if you can find  
A smarterhat than me.  
You can keep you bowlers black,  
Your top hats sleek and tall,  
For im the Hogwarts sorting hat  
And i can cap them all.  
There's nothing hidden in your head  
The Sorting Hat can't see  
So try me on and i will tell you,  
Where you ought to be._

You might belong in Gryffindor,  
Where dwell the brave at heart,  
Their daring, nerve and chivalry  
Set Gryffindors apart;  
You might belong in Hufflepuff,  
Where they are just and loyal,  
Those patient Hufflepuffs are true  
And unafraid of toil;  
Or yet in wise old Ravenclaw,  
If you've a steady mind,  
Where those of wit and learning,  
Will always find their kind;  
Or perhaps in Slytherin  
You'll make your real friends,  
Those cunning folk use any means  
To achieve their ends.  
So put me on! Don't be afraid!  
And don't get in a flap!  
You're in safe hands (though I have none)  
For I'm a Thinking Cap!"

The hall burst into applause when the het finish, i clapped as well with the other students. Professor then called up each student by its name, the hat sorted them. When you got put into a house, the teachers and the students from that house applauded.  
Soon a " Potter, Harry!" was called. The hall went silent when he was called, a wide range of whispers came from the crowd, "_Potter, _did she say?" "_The _Harry Potter?" and more. What was so special about this boy that everyone was silent and whispering? What was so great about him? He took awhile to get sorted but then ended up in Gryffindor.  
Soon Professor called "Riddle, Angela" a few of the teachers at the front table looked disturbed by Anglea. _What the hell was wrong with them,_ i ignored them and watched Angela go up to the stool and put the hat on her head...

**Angela's POV:**

I walked up and noticed some of the disturbed stares i was getting from some of the teachers at the front table. I glared at them like '_wtf is YOUR problem?' _this didnt matter though, they still stared at me like i was some half-human, half-toilet thing. I ignored them and put the hat on my head.  
"hhhmmmmmm, interesting, very interesting. Caring and loving hidden up by a hard-core shell. Fascinated by the dark-arts but not truly evil. seeking happiness and justice for all but holding anger and hate at the world. A sneaking, girl with attitude. MUCH attitude. Many secrets you hold with a great variety of lies to cover them up. You think on your toes, and get out of trouble easily because of it. Much confusion and misunderstanding of things around you which make you create false-hoods that you believe. Not a huge pull to seek knowledge, and you don't care. You would do well in Slytherin. Do you want Slytherin?" _no, please, i want to know who that Harry Potter kid is, i feel like i should know him. _"That so hhmmmm? Very well then, even though you really do belong in Slytherin, i will have to say GRYFFINDOR!" I smiled and took the hat off my head and walked down to the Gryffindor table where i was meant by an applause. I sat next to the all-to-familiar Fred who smiled and pointed to his bother down the table. I listened as I heard "Riddle, Meghann"...

**Meghann's POV**

After Ang was sorted, my name was called. I walked up greeted by the same disturbed stares i saw Ang had got. I looked at my feet, nervous about what was wrong with me. Why did i stand out? Was there a stain on my new robes, a cut, or was my hair really badly messed up. What was wrong? I sat down on the stool and put the hat on my head.  
"hhhhhhhmmmmmm, another Riddle. There have been three in my life-time of sorting. All three very interesting. Your father, your sister, and you. You, a very complicated one. I'd say the most interesting. Your a walking contradiction. You've had much pain, some you haven't told anyone, note even your sister." _who's this sister i have you keep talking about? _"Oh, you didnt know? The other Riddle that I just sorted into Gryffindor is your sister. Now, back to analyzing you. A very loving and caring person, nurturing too. You seek peace and dont want hate. You treat everyone with kindness until they prove to you that you shouldn't. A powerful girl who is doesn't know what to do with it. You want peace, but also want a good fight every once in-awhile. A thin shell is around you, a thin hard-shell, hard but thin. Under that is a soul no one could believe existed. Sadness is in you, also much happiness. You have a desire for knowledge and want to learn, but if it doesn't interest you, you wont try. A wise person who acts dumb like the rest to fit in better. Kind-hearted, but stupid at the same time. A seek for adventure lies in you. Manners and seeking a good impression awaits in you also. You would do extraordinary in Hufflepuff. Would you like to be in Hufflepuff?" _I need to be where Ang is. "_Very well. I will have to say GRYFFINDOR!" I smiled at the applause i got from the Gryffindor table as i took the hat off.

I got off the stool and turned around to the teachers who gave me and my supposed "sister" disturbed glares. I gave them a friendly smile, a true friendly smile, but my eyes held sadness. My replies were mostly annoyed faces from the people who gave us disturbed glares. Although the (what appeared to be cause he sat in the middle and looked the most superior) headmaster didnt glare at me or Ang like we were some kind of freak, I looked at him and gave him my sad smile. He nodded and moved his head as to say '_go to your table, i will talk to you later' _I nodded in return and went to my table and sat down next to a girl with puffy hair.

The person in the middle at the teachers table who i assumed was the headmaster stood up and said "Welcome! Welcome to a new year at Hogwarts! Before we begin our banquet, I would like to say a few words. And here they are: Nitwit! Blubber! Oddment! Tweak! Thank you!" and he sat back down. I burst out laughing with many other people and clapped and cheered. The platters filled with food and the goblets filled with some liquid i didn't know what was. I sat quietly and listened to Harry Potter's conversation with his friends and the house ghost.

After some time of them talking, the girl next to me with the bushy hair asked me in a superior manner "So, who are you?"  
I looked at my food and smiled, they had noticed me, well, at least she did.  
"I'm Meghann. Who are you?"  
"Im Hermione. This is Harry" she pointed to the black-haired kid with the round glasses, "and this in Ron" she pointed to the red-head.  
I nodded my head and looked at Ron. He reminded me of Fred and george,  
"By any chance are your brothers Fred and George?"  
He huffed and said "yes, they are my brothers."  
I chuckled, "they're really funny. So, do you guys know who the teachers are for each subject" I questioned, as the dinner food disappeared and were replaced by dessert foods.

Hermione burst up, "Professor Snape is the Potions teacher, Professor McGonagle is the Transfiguration teacher, Professor Quirrell is the Defence Against Dark Arts teacher, Professor Babbling in the Ancient Ruins teacher, Professor Binns is the History of Magic teacher, Professor Dumbledor is the Headmaster, Professor Flitwick is the Charms teacher, and Professor Sprout is the Herbology teacher. I've already read all the books we were told to get and know almost everything there is to know."  
"Thats so cool" I said actually intrigued, " Ive only read the potions book and the magical creatures book, but i was thinking about reading the rest of them tonight and in the morning and over the week and weakened."  
"They are very interesting. I highly suggest you do. You will learn a lot of interesting stuff. I plan on going to the library any chance i get. You could come with me and finish reading the assigned books there and then read extra books" she said excitedly.  
I smiled, "that would be great."  
I then looked to Ron who was amazed. "Bloody hell Hermione, you've got someone who seems she could be just as smart as you."  
Harry looked at us, i looked at him and smiled, i got one in return. I felt like i should get to know him more.  
At last, the desserts too disappeared, and Professor Dumbledor got to his feet again. The hall fell silent along with my thoughts.  
"Ahem-just a few more words now that we are all fed and watered. I have a few star-of-term noticed to give you. First years should note that the forest on the grounds is forbidden to all pupils. And a few of our older students would do well to remember that as well." I saw him glace at Fred and George as they chuckled. "I have also been asked by Mr. Filch, the caretaker, to remind you all that no magic be used between classes in the corridors. Quidditch trials will be held in the second week of the term. Anyone interested in playing for their house teams should contact Madam Hooch. And finally, I must tell you that this year, the third-floor corridor on the right-hand side is out of bounds to everyone who does not wish to die a very painful death." Harry, Ang, and i laughed, but we were the few that did. "And now before we go to bed, let us sing the school song!" cried Dumbledor. He gave his wand a flick and a long golden ribbon flew out of it, which went above the tables and twisted itself into words. "Everyone pick their favorite tune, and off we go!" And we all sang, well, i mumbled but the rest basically sang:

_"Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, Teach us something please, Whether we be old and bald, or young with scabby knees, our heads could do with filling, with some interesting stuff, for now they're bare and full of air, dead flies and bits of fluff, so teach us things worth knowing, bring back what we've forgot, just do your best, we'll do the rest, and learn until our brains all rot!" _  
Everyone finished at different times, it was exciting and cool. Everyone clapped, and then we we were done, Dumbledor concluded wiping his eyes, "Ah, music. A magic beyond all we do here! And now, bedtime. Off you trot."  
The Gryffindor table followed Percy through the chattering crowds. I knew Percy was his name and he was a prefect because I overheard his conversation with Harry.

Soon we came to where a bundle if walking sticks floating by themselves in midair.  
"Peeves," Percy whispered to us first years. "A poltergeist" he raised his voice, "Peeves-show yourself."  
A sound like air being let out of a balloon answered. I laughed and got a glare from Percy.  
Percy then answered, "Do you want me to go to the Bloody Baron?"  
A pop and a little man with wicked, dark eyes and a wide mouth appeared, floating cross-legged in the air, clutching the walking sticks.  
"Ooooooooooh!" he said, with an evil cackle. "Ickle Firsties! What fun!"  
He swooped down and everyone ducked but me and Ang, we tried to grab him and laughed when our hands slid right through him.  
He looked at us and laughed, "some brave firsties we have here."  
"Go away, Peeves, or the Baron'll hear about this, I mean it!" barked Percy.  
Peeves stuck his tongue out and dropped the sticks on Neville. We heard him zipping away, rattling coats of armor as he passed.  
"You watch out for Peeves, "Percy said as we headed on again, "The Bloody Baron's the only one who can control him, he won't even listen to us prefects. Here we are."  
At the very end of the corridor hung a portrait of a very fat women in a pink silk dress, "Password?" she said. "Caput Draconis" replied Percy. The portrait swung open revealing a round hole in the wall that led to the Gryffindor common room, a cozy, round room full of squashy armchairs. Percy directed us to the boys and the girls dormitory and we separated and went to our destinations.  
Ang met up with Hermione and me.  
"I lost you," Ang said in a fake worried voce to me and hugged me like i was a lost puppy, "I thought i'd never see you again. Ever ever, i was so worried." I laughed and pushed her away. "So whos your friend" she questioned looking at Hermione.  
"This is Hermione. Hermione, this is Angela. Angela- do NOT be a jackass this time." She laughed, and Hermione brushed it off. We walked up to the dormitory and picked our beds, I was by the window, i chose to be there, Ang was the next bed over, and Hermione was after that.

I then took Midnight and Ruku out of my purse and opened their cages. They didnt move. They were asleep. Ang woke Ruku up and i woke midnight up. When they awoke, they were all tried. Midnight tried to walk out of his cat-carrier, but stumbled and looked funny. Ruku tried to fly but fell.  
"Omg, we have to take them to the nurse" I said, i picked up midnight and Angela carried Ruku. We were out of the Gryffindor area before anyone had a chance to ask what we were up to.  
As we ran toward the great hall, thinking we could still find someone there to take us to the nurse, we ran into Nearly Headless Nick.  
"Whats the matter with you two, running like that" he questioned, "shouldn't you be in bed?" "We NEED to see a nurse NOW," I said with command.  
He looked serious and said "follow me." As we glided rather quickly, we kept up with him. Soon we were at a place that looked like a small one-room hospital without all the electronics.  
"Her name is Madom Pomfrey" He said and then left. "Madom Promfrey" I yelled walking in with Angela behind me.  
"Already? Whats the matter" we heard as a nice-looking lady came out of a small room on the side of the big room.  
"Oh my, bring them over here" She said motioning to the first bed. We set them down and she looked at them.  
"Where were they before you saw them like this?" I showed her my purse and how it is huge on the inside.

"Oh no. You can't put living things in something like that. It messes with them, makes them very tired and confused," she said as she ran into her room and came out with a spoon and a bottle of some concoction.  
"Open the cat's mouth" She commanded. I did so. Madom Pomfrey filled the spoon with the liquid and put it in Midnight's mouth, i closed his mouth then so he would swallow it, he did so. Ang had to do the same with Ruku.  
"Now wait a little while, it will probably only take a few minutes before they start coming around. But i warn you, hold them down when they wake up or else they'll hurt themselves running or flying around."  
I and Ang sat down by our pets. I had my hands placed on midnight, not holding him yet, but just resting there, Ang did the same. After about 7 minutes, they started to open their eyes and tried to move. We held them down, after 3 minutes they calmed down and just sat there kinda bored.

"Can we let them go now," Ang questioned Madom Promfrey as she came out of her room again.  
She looked at their eyes and then said, "yes, i think it would be alright."  
We let them go, midnight jumped down off the bed and stood looking up at me like '_so where are we now and where are we going?' _. Ruku flew up about 2 feet and looked at Ang the same way.  
We smiled. "Come on, let's go back now" I said, "I want to sleep."  
Ang and i walked out of the room and began our journey to the Gryffindor tower. Midnight walked next to me and Ruku flew next to Ang.  
"Hey, Ang" I said.  
"Yeah" she questioned. "The sorting hat... It told me that we were sisters and that our father went here also..." I said kinda nervous. She stopped, along with me and our animals.  
"We're s- actual s-sisters" She looked at me surprised.  
I looked at the floor sheepishly, "apparently. We can probably talk to Dumbledor about this later, for now let's just get back to our beds" I said.  
She nodded and we continued our journey to to Gryffindor Girl's Dormitory. Once there, everyone was asleep. We curled into our own bed. Midnight snuggled up beside me and Ruku stood on the bed-post of Angela's bed and we fell into a deep slumber.

Every morning was basically the same. The first morning, i had to take all our stuff out of my purse, but i left our books in it so it would be easier to carry them around. Ruku had to go to the school Owlery and Midnight was supposed to stay in the girls dormitory and not come to classes with me, but that didnt stop him.  
Every morning, Ang and i would get up, she would shower while i did some reading after changing, then she would change into her school robes, i would brush my hair in front of the mirror and decide how i wanted it styled that day, then we would be ready, i would find Midnight on my bed. I would tell him to stay and leave the dorm without him, then i would be in the Gryffindor common room without him would walk out without him, and once we were half-way to the great hall, every day we would hear the pitter-patter of him running to catch us and then walk behind me down to breakfast, where he actually SAT at the damn TABLE next to me and expected me to put tiny bits of food on his plate. I did of course, but people laughed. It was also cute. A few of the teachers stared at me and him as i put small portions of food on his plate and he would stretch his neck to reach and eat it. When it was too far away, he would bring his paw up and try to pull it closer then eat it with his mouth. I became very popular, very quickly because of this. (**note, my cat actually does this also x3 at home, not at school** **x3).** It also distracted the people from Harry, so he got a break, which was good.  
Ruku would come in with the other owls to deliver mail and would nip at Ang's ear affectionately because we really didn't have anyone to bring us mail.  
Then we would walk to our first class, and midnight would follow me. No one in the halls stepped on him, they actually made room for the determined trotting cat that followed me. When i would walk into any class and sit down at a table next to Ang with parchment and my book, with Midnight sitting next to me, the teacher would stare at midnight.  
"Ms. M Riddle- Why is your cat in here" they would demand knowing the answer every day.  
I would sigh, "I tried to keep him in his cat-carrier today, but he got out and was sitting next to me at breakfast again like he does every morning."

But when Professor Flitwick asked, I said, "I've told you before_ yoda, _He follows me weather i lock him up or not." He sent me to the headmaster's office, But before he did Ang shouted out, "Why are you after _her _lucky charms yoda?" This got us both sent to the headmaster's office and as we walked there, we say.  
"We're off to see the wizard! The wonderful Wizard of Oz" Repeatedly, and very loudly, so even though the other classroom door's were shut, they could hear us. When we got to the headmaster's office, his door was already open, waiting for us.  
We skipped in singing the song.  
When we got there he sighed, "why must you two do these thing?"  
"because, its fun," we said in unison. We'd been practicing for this moment.  
"Ahhhh, yes, the humor that seems to occupy you two and the weasly twins. Very well, i want to see so sometime this week, Until then-" he said shooing us out of his office. We left and went back to Charms.  
Through-out the week, we didn't get lost that easily, only if we were going somewhere without Fred and George, did we get lost. Peeves and us seemed to get along pretty, well. He didn't cause us trouble, although he pulled pranks on us every now and again. This was because on the second day of school, we asked Ron to steal his brother's (percy's) prefects badge for us. He did so, but barley made it out alive. Once we had the badge, we went to the hall and called Peeves until Our throats were soar.  
Then he finally came out. "YYYeeeeesssssss" he said manically.  
"Look what we got you" I said smiling evilly along with Ang. He became excitingly nice once we handed it to him and he pinned it onto his 'not-really-there' clothes, but it still stayed. For the rest of the day, Percy was in distress and Peeves went around showing off his "new" badge and telling people to do stupid things. It was quite funny, until the Bloody Baron came and made his return the badge to percy.  
And finally, Friday came. That morning, Ang had mail, it was from Professor Dumbledor.

Dear Ms. A Riddle and Ms. M Riddle,  
I would like to see both you both this afternoon you have off. Please be there.

Harry also got a letter, it was from Hagrid, he asked if we wanted to come, but we declined. Then, finally Potions came. Double Potions with the Slytherins. I huffed. Pimp cane, (Draco Malfoy) had been flirting with me non-stop for most of the weeks. And he was always trailed by Bulk and Skull.  
"Oh yippy" I said sarcastically cheering for joy as Ron told us all. We all walked down to the Potions room in the dungeons. Ron, Harry, Ang, Hermione, and me. WE had gotten along pretty well, Ang seemed to have a crush on one of the Weasly twins, so she hung around with them alot, but still made time for us.  
In potions class, Harry and Ron sat together, behind them was me and Ang, and on the side was Hermione, it wasnt arranged like that, but with five people in a gang, not all of us could always sit together.  
Then the Pimp cane came over to me. _"DUNT DUNT DUUNNNNNNN" _Angela whispered in my ear when we saw him get up and walk in our direction.

"Hey Meghann. I bet your really good in potions, but if you get into a slip-up, i could help you" he said smirking.  
I looked at him like he was the most boring thing on earth and said in a mono-tone, "go away pimp cane."_  
_HE got angry at this but them grew a purvey smile. "You'd like my pimp cane." I almost puked, then Professor snape came out and yelled at Draco for standing away from his table. He scurried over like a mouse that was being chased by a cat. I took out my potions book, which i had already read through twice, and a quill and parchment, ready to write down the first thing he said that was educational. He went through the names and when he got to Harry, he paused.  
"Ah yes," he said softly, "Harry Potter. Our new-_celebrity."  
_Dumb and dumber with weasle(Malfoy's nickname was changed quickly after that incident) snickered.  
"MS. M RIDDLE! WHAT IS YOUR CAT DOING SITTING IN MY CLASSROOM?" Snape barked.  
I replied, calmly and respectfully, "Professor, i locked him in his cat-carrier this morning, but he broke out. He follows me everywhere. He doesn't disturb the class though, he's quiet and just sits there. Please don't send him out, he will only come back in some way."  
Snape was taken back by my respectful tone, and understanding of the rules and replied, "very well. If he disturbs the class, i will have to send you both out." I nodded and looked down at the fur-ball sitting next to my stool and whispered, "behave." He seemed no nod.

"You are here to learn the subtle science and exact art of potion-making" He began, speaking in barley more than a whisper. But we all caught, every word. "As there is little foolish wand-waving here, many of you will hardly believe this is magic. I don't expect you will really understand the beauty of the softly simmering cauldron with its shimmering fumes, the delicate power of liquids that creep through human veins, bewitching the mind, ensnaring the senses...I can teach you how to bottle fame, brew glory, even stopper death-if you aren't as big a bunch of dunderheads as i usually have to teach." This last comment seemed to make Hermione mad, i know it pissed me off.

For saying that to us, i tried to remember the spell for making words appear on things or in thin air. Once i had gotten it in my memory, i secretly made the words **'Drink Me' **appear on 5 of the many bottles on the shelves in the room. The whole time i was doing this, i was looking straight at Snape, so he didnt think i wasn't paying attention.

When i was done, i heard Snape say "Potter! What would i get if I added powdered root of asphodel o an infusion of wormwood?"  
I quickly wrote the question down, knowing i'd get an answer. I knew he answer, even though i didnt raise my hand or write it down, i wanted to be sure. This didn't stop Hermione's hand from shooting up.  
Harry replyed, "I dont know sir."  
Snape sneered, "Tut, tut-fame clearlt isn't everything."  
This made me angry, Harry didnt even know why he was famous, just like ang and i didnt know why some teachers treated us like we were going to hurt them.  
" Let's try again. Potter, where would you look if i told you to find me a bezoar?" Snape said ignoring Hermione's hand raised even higher than before. I wrote the question down, I knew this one by heart. The answer was a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will cure most poisons. I wrote the answer down, but didnt raise my hand.  
"I don't know, sir" Harry replied again.  
"Thought you wouldn't open a book before coming, eh, Potter? What is the difference, Potter, between monkshood and wolfsbane?"  
I knew the answer, i wrote it down, but i was nervous, and afraid i had the wrong answer, even though i knew i was right, it was that they are the same plant, which is also called aconite. Hermione actually stood up and raised her hand so high that i thought her arm was going to stretch so far it would fall off.  
"I don't know, I think Hermione does, though, why don't you try her?" Harry said quietly. I chuckled along with a few other people, Snape was not pleased though.

"Sit down" he snapped at Hermione. "For your information, Potter, asphodel and wormwood make a sleeping potion so powerful it is known as the Draught of Living Death, "  
I quickly scribbled that down as he continued saying the answers i already had written down.

"A bezoar is a stone taken from the stomach of a goat and it will save you from most poisons. As for monkshood and wolfsbane, they are the same plant, which also goes by the name of aconite. Well? Why arn't you all copying that down? Only Ms. M Riddle, seems smart enough," he said walking over to me and picking up my paper, "Shes got it all down already. EVERYONE else should also." He yelled putting my parchment down.

People rummaged for quills and parchment. Over the noise, Snape said, "And a point will be taken from Gryffindor House for your cheek, Potter."  
Things didn't improve the rest of class. He went around, watching us and criticizing us about how we were preparing our potion ingredients. Everyone that is except for Malfoy, and me. He seemed to like us, he was telling the rest of the class to look at how perfect we had stewed the horned slugs when clouds of acid green smoke and loud hissing filled the dungeon. Neville, had made Seamus's cauldron twist into a blob, and their potion was seeping across the floor, burning holes in people's shoes. Every student was standing on their stools while Neville moaned in pain because of the potion going all over him.

"Idiot boy!" Snape yelled, clearing the spilled potion away with one wave of his wand."I suppose you added the parcupine quills before taking the cauldron off the fire? Take him to the hospital wing" Snape said to Seamus as Neville whimpered.

"You-Potter-why didn't you tell him not to add the quills? Thought he'd make you look good if he got it wrong, did you? That's another point you've lost for Gryffinfor."  
Harry opened his mouth to argue, but I noticed Ron kick him under the table and whisper something to him. WE walked out of the dungeon an hour later.

Ang patted him on the back and said, "fuck him. Hes just a jackass."  
Ron nodded and said, "cheer up, Snape's always taking points off Fred and George. Can I come and meet Hagrid with you?"  
At this, Ang and i went to go find Fred and George. We met them in the halls doing something that would be funny later.  
"Hey, you guys know where we can't be found?" Ang questioned to them.  
Fred smiled and nodded and pulled out a peice of old parchment.  
I looked at it quizzically as he tapped it and said, "I solomly swear i am up to no good, " and smiled.  
George grabbed the parchment and brought it over to us opening it up. We saw a layout of the whole floor we were on, if you opened it more, you saw the other floors. We also saw many paths we had never seen before, ones we didnt even know existed.  
"Woooooww, what is this awesome rule-breaking device" ang questioned.  
George and Fred smiled and said "This is the marauders map. It is a layout of every nook and cranny in the building and where everyone is." I looked at the map and saw a black dot everywhere a name was. Even the school ghosts showed up.  
I smiled maniacally, "i love this thing." Ang laughed.

We followed them to the very bottom of the castle, into the dungeons, at the end of the hall, down right on another hall. And at the end of the hall we found a statue of small dragon.  
"In here," said Fred as he touched the dragon's head with his wand. It's mouth opened revealing a lever at the end of its throat.  
"Lady's first," said Fred bowing along with George. Ang jumped ahead of me and pulled the lever. She then fell through a tunnel that opened up where she was standing. It closed just as quickly as it had opened. Ang was gone.  
"Alright, thats one down. One to go," said George smirking.

I nervously walked over to the spot in front of the dragon's mouth. I picked midnight up and held him as i reached my reached my hand into the mouth, and pulled the lever. SSHHHHOOOOOOOOMMMM! The door opened, and i went down this slide thing. I ended up in a room Much like the dungeons, except for a few things.

The room was round; the diameter was about 15 feet. There was bean-bag cushions on the floor, and against one wall(just try to picture it x3) was a blue couch. There was a small fridge next to it. And a long coffee-table next to that. That was it though, it still looked cool. I saw Ang rummaging through the fridge. Next Fred came down and stood looking around admiring the room. Then came George.  
"This place is soooo cool. But it needs more work done to it," I said admiring the place, letting midnight out of my arms. He walked over to the couch, jumped up, laid down and made himself at home.  
"Sooooo, where is the exit" Ang questioned. George walked over to the coffee-table, he tapped the coaster on the table and a door appeared next to where the end of the slide was. Fred walked over and opened the door. Inside where stairs that looked like they went on forever, they were pretty steep too.  
"They lead to a secret door that leads to next to the madam promfrey's office ," said Fred answering the question on my face. He then shut the door and it disappeared into the wall again.  
"So," said George stretching, "what did ya need this place for?"  
Ang smiled and pulled out some weed and a lighter. "This is weed. It is fun, and entertaining," she said and passed some around. We sat down and George and Fred looked at it quizzically. "Whats it do?" questioned Fred.  
"you'll see" i said as i lit mine up, i passed the lighter around to them. And they lit theirs. After some time of smoking it, Fred said in a worried voice (for the following thing, i do not own the events, there from the 70's show. I dont own harry potter either.)

I am telling you. I heared it. The devil i singing backwards on the radio." Fred said looking at each of us serisly. I looked behind me to see the radio that was obviously off. Ang began to cough and then said, "Its not the devil man. Its congress." she said looking at us." they passed a secrit law that put backward messages in the songs man." she looked discusted, "They want to kill rock 'n roll, cause they knopw it makes us horney man!" she said laughing. "Doesn't uh..Doesn't everything makes us horny" I quetioned pulling a twinky out of my purse and eating it. George bagan to laugh, "Quidditch makes me horny,. oh, oh and food." He said laughing again. Fred then replyed, "when you play the song backwards, you can hear the devil speak. I am strting to hear him everywhere," he said, actually worried. Ang then said in a different voice, "Its for shows, seversavisin. signis or masterphis." I looked at her like 'wtf?'. she continued, "worship satin." Fred groaned. Ang continued in the werd voice, "But before you worship satin, get him a cherry pop. Get satin a cherry pop. Get satin a cherry pop." then she went back to her normal voice," pop, man. get me a pop." and began to laugh, "NOW MAN. Get me a pop." Fred then said," oh, im so glad i misunderstoood." Ang went back to the creepy voice, "Satin's second choice is root-bear." she said then laguhed again. Fred whimpered and said, "finne."  
(i own the following events)  
nd he went into the fridge and pulled out a soda. "Hey! i have an idea," said George, "how about we make tarts that when you eat them, they will make your nose bleed, and you can get out of class that way." We all laughed and high-fived. "Great idea. We should start making it, " Ang said. "OOOhhhh, no. not now. We have to sober-up first." I pulled water bottles out of my purse, 5 of them. I remembered the smell to make things ice-cold but not freeze them. I did it to each of them. Then i said "everyone grade your bottle, fred, you get two cause you really went insane." They did as i told them, "take the cap off, and when i say, i want you to pour the water all over your face." They nodded." Ok, NOW!" i said. WE all pourded the water on our face. And woke up a bit. I checked the time, it was only 30 minits until we had to go see Dumbledor. "Come on, Ang. We have to get ready to see Dumbledor" I said snatching up a very displeased Midnight, "We'll see you later," I said to Fred and George and i tapped the coaster and the door appeared. Ang and i opened it, and ran through it and shut it. I was completly dark. "Lumonos" I said and the tip of my wand lit up and gave us light. "Come on," I said yanking on Ang's arm as we ran up the steep stairs. It took us 10 minits to get to Gryffindor tower. "Caput Draconis, Caput Draconis!" I yelled at the fat lady and the door swung open. . . .


	6. Chapter 4

Family

**By the time we got to Professor Dumbledor's office, we were already a few minutes late. I was annoyed. Midnight was still behind me the whole time. We ran into his office and practically toppled over each other. "Ah, yes. Ms. M and Ms. A Riddle. I've been waiting for you, please have a seat," Dumbledore said. We sat down. "Now I am aware that the sorting hat told you," he pointed to me, "that you two were sisters, and also that you told Angela that it did. I am here to discuss that matter with you." Ang and I looked at each other quickly then looked back at him. "You two are indeed sisters. You two are twins for a matter-o-fact." Ang and I grinned and high-fived like we always do. **

**"I am unaware though if you two know who your father is. Do you?" he questioned. I thought back to when I was at the orphanage. I never remember anyone saying anything about my father, all I remember is they said they found me on their doorstep with only a blanket around me and took me in. Ang shook her head no and I did the same. Dumbledore sighed, "Your father is a very evil man. His name is remembered as Voldimort, He-who-shall-not-be-named. His real name though is, Tom Riddle. Some of the teachers know that his last name was Riddle, and from this, they know that you two are his daughters." "So that is why Meg and I get disturbed stares and why some of the teachers seem to fear us," said Ang in realization. "Precisely," replied Dumbledore. "So-so who was Tom Riddle and why he was so evil that people fear us, his children," I questioned. "Tom Riddle went as bad as you could go. He killed many and tried to recruit many. Anyone who didn't follow him, he would kill. It was a time of fear and uncertainty." Ang and I waited for the rest. "There was an incident 11 years ago that made him basically vanish. Many believe he died." I started to put piece and piece together, "but you don't. Do you, sir?" "No. I'm afraid that he is still out there. Trying to get his strength back and waiting for the moment to strike again," explained Dumbledore sorrowfully. I thought about it, "Does Harry Potter, sir, have anything to do with the disappearance of Voldimort," I questioned. "You are a very perceptive Ms. M Riddle. Yes it does. You can ask Harry more about this; for now, I must go to a meeting," he said shooing us off.  
We left and noticed everyone going to the great hall for dinner. This time, me, Ang, Harry, and Ron sat together. Hermione seemed slightly annoyed by them and sat a few seats down. Harry told Ang and me about Gringots being broken into and the package him and hagrid had picked up. He also told us about his thoughts that Hagrid knew stuff about Snape that they didn't.**

******

**Although we only had to put up with dumb and dumber with ferret during potions, it was horrid. He was suck a prick, and was one even when we were not around. Flying lessons were grouped and Gryffindor and Slytherin had lessons together. I knew it wouldn't turn out good. At three-thirty in the afternoon, harry, Ron, ang and I went down to flying lessons. The Slytherins were already there when we came, then Madam Hooch arrived.  
She told us to stand by a broomstick and say up and all that jazz. Harry got it immediately; Hermione seemed to be having trouble. Ang got it ok, as well as I, even though we were not as quick as harry was. Neville being as nervous and afraid as he was pushed off early and did not come back down. He kept rising and rising, higher and higher until he landed facedown into the ground. His broom was still rising though. Madam Hooch took him to the hospital wing and told us not to move. Malfoy was an obnoxious twit and started to make fun of him and the other Slytherins joined in. Weasle found Neville's remembrall and began flying on his broom. Harry went after him but failed to get him, but caught the ball before it shattered on the ground. Professor McGonagall came out and took him inside, the rest of us stood there while the Slytherins predicted the trouble he would get into.**

"You're **_joking." _****said Ron. "that is so... AWSOME!" I said. Harry had just finished telling us about how he is the new seeker. "That's great, sooo, this means you're going to let me ride your broomstick, right" questioned Ang. I, Fred, George, Ron and Harry burst out laughing. "That's a little dirty," said George in-between fits of laughter. Harry was now a bright red and I thought I bug would mistaken him as a strawberry. "You would enjoy that," said Fred nudging Harry," looks like she's got the hots for you." Ang was turning pink and then got angry. She stood up and shouted "Your such a sun-of-a-BANCHE, you f'en VOLDIMPRT NIPLE, YOU BLASTENED SKANK!" The whole entire great hall had all eyes on her. Many people gasped, faret, dumb, and dumber smiled idiotically, and then began to laugh. Fred turned a bright red and looked slightly scared and seriously offended. I looked at Ang worried, her eyes were watering but she hadn't cried yet. She began to notice her eyes watering and ran out of the great hall. I ran behind her.  
"Ang, ANG wait. Calm down," I said as I ran a few yards behind her. She seemed to be headed out the doors. I followed her. We passed some students that looked at me questionably, as if to say 'is she ok?' I shook my head 'no'. She ran out of the castle with me behind her. "Ang! The least you can do is let me catch up," I hollered. She slowed down but barely. I sped up, then she ran faster. I huffed and sighed and kept running behind her. She ran to the lake, and stopped in front of a tree and held on to it as if it would save her from falling. I caught up and stood next to her. She put her forehead on the tree and began to cry more. **

**I touched her shoulder, "Ang. What's wrong?" She shook her head. I began to sit down and pulled her down with me. She buried her red, tear filled face in her hands. "Ang. What happened. Seriously? What's going on?" She began to say imbetween sobs, "I'm-so a-angry at him. I'm no-talking to-him-for awhile." I laughed and she looked at me angrily. I looked up at her smiling, "Notice how you said 'for awhile', meaning, you will talk to him again. Cause you can't resist, can you," I smirked knowing what was going on. She smiled then quickly tried to cover it up by a scowl and punched my arm playfully saying, "I hate you." I laughed and said, " I love you more" ^_^ (- my smile). This gave me a angry yet happy stare from Ang. I laughed, "C'mon, let's get you fixed up," and we walked back into the castle to the Gryffindor girls dormitory.  
*************

**I spent the rest of the night thinking about how I could have missed ang liking Fred. Seriously?! I didn't know my own sister's stupid crush. What kind of twin doesn't know their twin's crush? Then I began to think about how cute they would be together. Then that led to what their babies would look like. I chuckled and eventually fell asleep. **


End file.
